[ He should get away. Fabian realizes it as he's lying there under Gorgug, as he hears the other speak in such a rushed way, like Gorgug is almost fighting something just to be able to get the words out to him.
But it's so hard to muster up the energy for it. He feels.. drained. Empty. Maybe it's just the effect of already having tried to bear the circumstances in this place for so long now, or maybe it's just this close proximity to Gorgug right now, the thing within him radiating out to Fabian, mixing in with his own emotions as well. Fabian knows he has to fight, and there's a part of him - whether nature or nurture - that tells him he has to, no matter what happens. But it's drowned out by the helplessness of it all, by the fact that this keeps happening, and yet he can't even help his friend. What if he did get away from Gorgug's hold somehow? What then? He'd run away, find Gorgug again some other time, do this all over again?
Gorgug says I don't have anything else.
Fabian thinks what's the point?
And then Gorgug is suddenly on him. Lips against his skin, reminiscent of something that happened not even that long ago - also an awkward experience, also Gorgug not being in control of himself, yet different from this. And more importantly-- Fabian's body remembers. There's something that feels good about the way the other sucks along his skin, even as Gorgug's lips move against his own. The feeling Fabian is being taken over by from Gorgug being this close to him with his own overwhelming emotions makes him not even think about the awkwardness of being kissed by one of his friends. He can only remember how nice he felt last time, and wouldn't it be nice to feel that way again for a few moments? Hasn't he struggled for so long, doesn't he deserve just a moment of this, of Gorgug kissing him, of warmth and affection and having someone he cares for close to him, and of--
Of--
There's something.
There is something entering him, and it manages to set off the alarm bell in Fabian's head that had been dulled by the heavy feeling coming over him. It feels so unnatural and terrible that Fabian, lulled into inaction, finally remembers to fight back. He doesn't care that he can feel Gorgug biting his lip, doesn't care that he can feel blood in his mouth from it-- Even if he's not sure he can stop any of this when Gorgug is the one with the overwhelming strength in this situation, Fabian refuses to be the one Seacaster that doesn't go down fighting. A lot of his limbs are trapped within Gorgug's hold, but he tries to move anything else he can - trying to move his legs enough so his knees can jam against something, trying to swing his fists, trying to shove his head against Gorgug's own if he has to.
It's likely already futile, but he does it anyway. ]
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But it's so hard to muster up the energy for it. He feels.. drained. Empty. Maybe it's just the effect of already having tried to bear the circumstances in this place for so long now, or maybe it's just this close proximity to Gorgug right now, the thing within him radiating out to Fabian, mixing in with his own emotions as well. Fabian knows he has to fight, and there's a part of him - whether nature or nurture - that tells him he has to, no matter what happens. But it's drowned out by the helplessness of it all, by the fact that this keeps happening, and yet he can't even help his friend. What if he did get away from Gorgug's hold somehow? What then? He'd run away, find Gorgug again some other time, do this all over again?
Gorgug says I don't have anything else.
Fabian thinks what's the point?
And then Gorgug is suddenly on him. Lips against his skin, reminiscent of something that happened not even that long ago - also an awkward experience, also Gorgug not being in control of himself, yet different from this. And more importantly-- Fabian's body remembers. There's something that feels good about the way the other sucks along his skin, even as Gorgug's lips move against his own. The feeling Fabian is being taken over by from Gorgug being this close to him with his own overwhelming emotions makes him not even think about the awkwardness of being kissed by one of his friends. He can only remember how nice he felt last time, and wouldn't it be nice to feel that way again for a few moments? Hasn't he struggled for so long, doesn't he deserve just a moment of this, of Gorgug kissing him, of warmth and affection and having someone he cares for close to him, and of--
Of--
There's something.
There is something entering him, and it manages to set off the alarm bell in Fabian's head that had been dulled by the heavy feeling coming over him. It feels so unnatural and terrible that Fabian, lulled into inaction, finally remembers to fight back. He doesn't care that he can feel Gorgug biting his lip, doesn't care that he can feel blood in his mouth from it-- Even if he's not sure he can stop any of this when Gorgug is the one with the overwhelming strength in this situation, Fabian refuses to be the one Seacaster that doesn't go down fighting. A lot of his limbs are trapped within Gorgug's hold, but he tries to move anything else he can - trying to move his legs enough so his knees can jam against something, trying to swing his fists, trying to shove his head against Gorgug's own if he has to.
It's likely already futile, but he does it anyway. ]