Even if Noelle may not be looking at him anymore now, just Krouse looking is bad enough by itself. Especially when Fabian can just sense the entire journey the other guy's facial expression is going through. It makes him hunch over even more, like he's trying to disappear into his bottle of beer. Being eternally trapped in a bottle of beer kind of sounds like it might be easier than having to talk about all this, honestly.
Especially since he was wrong. Apparently Krouse doesn't know what this very specific thing is like. It would have been so much easier if he knew - at this point it's just going to make Fabian look like a huge freak, won't it?
It's tempting to stall. To ask him if he really wants to know. Or maybe to avoid the topic entirely, say he doesn't want to talk about it.
But that's just delaying the inevitable, right? Fabian has been thinking about this so much that the only way to get rid of these thoughts at this point is just to talk about it, even if it makes him feel awful before he's even uttered a single word.
"He--" Fabian swallows hard even after just one word. He's so very, very decidedly still not looking at Krouse. "He told me that he thinks about me at night. And then that-- that, uh, he'd hurt me or fuck me if I wanted him to."
That's propositioning someone, alright. Even though it doesn't seem like Fabian is done even with just that.
"And he held me down, and he started to kiss me, and I.."
.. god, should he say it? Krouse won't get it. Sure, he liked Noelle, but it doesn't sound like it ever had anything to do with a mess like this.
Ugh, wait, okay, hold on, he can still make this--
"I mean, I-- It turned me on, you know?" See, that's the hard part to say, but that's why Fabian immediately launches into the next words. "But it's just.. That was the adrenaline, right? I mean, I'm not gay, so-- you know, I just--"
He's now looking up at Krouse, but mostly because he's lost in the half-panic of his explanation. Like he has to convince the other of something here, and Fabian isn't even sure what specific thing it is that he's trying to convince his friend of.
cw: talk of dubcon
Especially since he was wrong. Apparently Krouse doesn't know what this very specific thing is like. It would have been so much easier if he knew - at this point it's just going to make Fabian look like a huge freak, won't it?
It's tempting to stall. To ask him if he really wants to know. Or maybe to avoid the topic entirely, say he doesn't want to talk about it.
But that's just delaying the inevitable, right? Fabian has been thinking about this so much that the only way to get rid of these thoughts at this point is just to talk about it, even if it makes him feel awful before he's even uttered a single word.
"He--" Fabian swallows hard even after just one word. He's so very, very decidedly still not looking at Krouse. "He told me that he thinks about me at night. And then that-- that, uh, he'd hurt me or fuck me if I wanted him to."
That's propositioning someone, alright. Even though it doesn't seem like Fabian is done even with just that.
"And he held me down, and he started to kiss me, and I.."
.. god, should he say it? Krouse won't get it. Sure, he liked Noelle, but it doesn't sound like it ever had anything to do with a mess like this.
Ugh, wait, okay, hold on, he can still make this--
"I mean, I-- It turned me on, you know?" See, that's the hard part to say, but that's why Fabian immediately launches into the next words. "But it's just.. That was the adrenaline, right? I mean, I'm not gay, so-- you know, I just--"
He's now looking up at Krouse, but mostly because he's lost in the half-panic of his explanation. Like he has to convince the other of something here, and Fabian isn't even sure what specific thing it is that he's trying to convince his friend of.
"I don't know, shit happens!"