It immediately makes any other words die in his throat before he can spit them out like the ones before. Most of the time he's been pretty convinced it was mostly the thing inside of Gorgug talking to him, twisting Gorgug's feelings into pretzels. Sometimes it was a little more ambiguous. But this-- This is the first time he thinks it's been just Gorgug. It doesn't even sound like it's something trying to manipulate him. It's just his friend, for the first time in what feels like maybe a whole month.
His heart beats quicker with adrenaline at the realisation that Gorgug is still in there, still capable of coming out, even if it's just for a moment or this desperately. And then his heart beats even quicker when he hears what Gorgug even says. It wants to--
I'd hurt you if you told me to. I'd fuck you if you said yes.
The words echo back into his mind. He thinks about Gorgug's lips crashing onto his own only a moment ago, and something inside of Fabian moves, twists, somehow makes giving in seem so tempting, and--
No, he knows this isn't the time to think about it. He knows the thing inside of him isn't him, and-- god, he has to get it out. He has to hurry and let someone get it out before he loses his mind too. He has to get away from here and over to where people are, he has to get away from Gorgug before the other does something they might both feel terrible about later.
It's hard though. It's hard because Fabian doesn't know for how much longer Gorgug can fight it to let him go. Fabian doesn't know for how long he can fight the weird feeling spreading inside of him, making all sorts of thoughts appear in his mind, and he can't even tell which are actually his anymore.
(Shit-- Is this what Gorgug has been feeling like for weeks now?) ]
I'm leaving.
[ He says it with a weird tone. Like he's trying to convince someone here. Maybe himself, maybe Gorgug, but-- Someone for sure, and he's already trying to move, seeming like he's trying to get out from under Gorgug, trying to get up.
He's not thinking, he tells himself. He can't think. There's all sorts of jumbled up stuff in his mind, and there's instinct, and there's something awful, and there's something inside of him that's driving him, and just before Fabian pulls himself back up onto his feet, he uses the fist he's still got curled up into the other's shirt to pull Gorgug even closer, pressing a quick peck onto the other's lips and a near-hissed, much too hurried: ] Spring break, spring break-- I fucking believe in you!
[ There's nothing after that. Fabian gets onto his feet so quickly that it feels like he might trip over his own feet, and a second later he's leaving.
Not down the stairs, mind you. No, he's pulling open a window and jumping out onto the Hangman, waiting stories below, driving off right away.
No, Fabian also doesn't realize what just happened. If he remembers this at all after getting his own infection cut out, he might need about two to three business days to process what happened here and start screaming into his own pillow. ]
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It immediately makes any other words die in his throat before he can spit them out like the ones before. Most of the time he's been pretty convinced it was mostly the thing inside of Gorgug talking to him, twisting Gorgug's feelings into pretzels. Sometimes it was a little more ambiguous. But this-- This is the first time he thinks it's been just Gorgug. It doesn't even sound like it's something trying to manipulate him. It's just his friend, for the first time in what feels like maybe a whole month.
His heart beats quicker with adrenaline at the realisation that Gorgug is still in there, still capable of coming out, even if it's just for a moment or this desperately. And then his heart beats even quicker when he hears what Gorgug even says. It wants to--
I'd hurt you if you told me to. I'd fuck you if you said yes.
The words echo back into his mind. He thinks about Gorgug's lips crashing onto his own only a moment ago, and something inside of Fabian moves, twists, somehow makes giving in seem so tempting, and--
No, he knows this isn't the time to think about it. He knows the thing inside of him isn't him, and-- god, he has to get it out. He has to hurry and let someone get it out before he loses his mind too. He has to get away from here and over to where people are, he has to get away from Gorgug before the other does something they might both feel terrible about later.
It's hard though. It's hard because Fabian doesn't know for how much longer Gorgug can fight it to let him go. Fabian doesn't know for how long he can fight the weird feeling spreading inside of him, making all sorts of thoughts appear in his mind, and he can't even tell which are actually his anymore.
(Shit-- Is this what Gorgug has been feeling like for weeks now?) ]
I'm leaving.
[ He says it with a weird tone. Like he's trying to convince someone here. Maybe himself, maybe Gorgug, but-- Someone for sure, and he's already trying to move, seeming like he's trying to get out from under Gorgug, trying to get up.
He's not thinking, he tells himself. He can't think. There's all sorts of jumbled up stuff in his mind, and there's instinct, and there's something awful, and there's something inside of him that's driving him, and just before Fabian pulls himself back up onto his feet, he uses the fist he's still got curled up into the other's shirt to pull Gorgug even closer, pressing a quick peck onto the other's lips and a near-hissed, much too hurried: ] Spring break, spring break-- I fucking believe in you!
[ There's nothing after that. Fabian gets onto his feet so quickly that it feels like he might trip over his own feet, and a second later he's leaving.
Not down the stairs, mind you. No, he's pulling open a window and jumping out onto the Hangman, waiting stories below, driving off right away.
No, Fabian also doesn't realize what just happened. If he remembers this at all after getting his own infection cut out, he might need about two to three business days to process what happened here and start screaming into his own pillow. ]