fabian aramais seacaster (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
maximumlegend) wrote2024-04-26 08:23 pm
maximumlegend) wrote2024-04-26 08:23 pmetraya ic inbox.
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You have reached a MAXIMUM LEGEND!
maximumlegend) wrote2024-04-26 08:23 pm
You have reached a MAXIMUM LEGEND!
no subject
--He's being pulled back. Not by the source he expects it to be, the tug from his shirt confusing. Is it stuck? But he can't figure how, and Gorgug opens his eyes to look, finding Fabian glaring right back at him with his one good eye, the fist balled with his clothing.
Tears blur his eyesight, but he can still see the way Fabian looks at him, hears it in the fire in his voice. Gorgug's limbs tremble, everything in his body feels too fragile, too ready to tip over into the deep end, and yet-
Yet something about the way Fabian is speaking lets him break in another way. ]
I'm sorry I called you, I'm sorry-- [ His voice croaks, the words slipping out from his mouth. He doesn't know how long he can control himself, how long he has. ] It wants me to rape you, [ he admits with a quieter voice. ] Please don't let me hurt you. Please. I can't stop it, it makes me mad.... I can't stop it....!
[ His eyes start closing together, not even intentionally, but from the rush of emotion now pushing up his throat with the tears, the sobs. He wants to keep telling him sorry, tries to, over the hiccups making his limbs all the more loose and hard to balance; as he fumbles with his hands on the flooring to keep steady above Fabian.
He could push away from Fabian, but he doesn't want to touch him. He wants Fabian to know to get away. It's okay, it's okay-- it's okay to run from him. ]
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It immediately makes any other words die in his throat before he can spit them out like the ones before. Most of the time he's been pretty convinced it was mostly the thing inside of Gorgug talking to him, twisting Gorgug's feelings into pretzels. Sometimes it was a little more ambiguous. But this-- This is the first time he thinks it's been just Gorgug. It doesn't even sound like it's something trying to manipulate him. It's just his friend, for the first time in what feels like maybe a whole month.
His heart beats quicker with adrenaline at the realisation that Gorgug is still in there, still capable of coming out, even if it's just for a moment or this desperately. And then his heart beats even quicker when he hears what Gorgug even says. It wants to--
I'd hurt you if you told me to. I'd fuck you if you said yes.
The words echo back into his mind. He thinks about Gorgug's lips crashing onto his own only a moment ago, and something inside of Fabian moves, twists, somehow makes giving in seem so tempting, and--
No, he knows this isn't the time to think about it. He knows the thing inside of him isn't him, and-- god, he has to get it out. He has to hurry and let someone get it out before he loses his mind too. He has to get away from here and over to where people are, he has to get away from Gorgug before the other does something they might both feel terrible about later.
It's hard though. It's hard because Fabian doesn't know for how much longer Gorgug can fight it to let him go. Fabian doesn't know for how long he can fight the weird feeling spreading inside of him, making all sorts of thoughts appear in his mind, and he can't even tell which are actually his anymore.
(Shit-- Is this what Gorgug has been feeling like for weeks now?) ]
I'm leaving.
[ He says it with a weird tone. Like he's trying to convince someone here. Maybe himself, maybe Gorgug, but-- Someone for sure, and he's already trying to move, seeming like he's trying to get out from under Gorgug, trying to get up.
He's not thinking, he tells himself. He can't think. There's all sorts of jumbled up stuff in his mind, and there's instinct, and there's something awful, and there's something inside of him that's driving him, and just before Fabian pulls himself back up onto his feet, he uses the fist he's still got curled up into the other's shirt to pull Gorgug even closer, pressing a quick peck onto the other's lips and a near-hissed, much too hurried: ] Spring break, spring break-- I fucking believe in you!
[ There's nothing after that. Fabian gets onto his feet so quickly that it feels like he might trip over his own feet, and a second later he's leaving.
Not down the stairs, mind you. No, he's pulling open a window and jumping out onto the Hangman, waiting stories below, driving off right away.
No, Fabian also doesn't realize what just happened. If he remembers this at all after getting his own infection cut out, he might need about two to three business days to process what happened here and start screaming into his own pillow. ]
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Go, [ he says, hushed words shared between them, and he's ready at any second to move or to be pushed away while he still has a say in how his own body reacts. Even as the idea of being left alone manages to slither its way into his mind, coiling over his willpower, squeezing.
He's going to leave you. Grab his arm. Ask him to stay, you're so alone.
There is a chaotic nature to Fabian Seacaster. Loud and opinionated, carrying his own insecurities, busy working to establish himself to show the world who he is (and to know who that is himself). Every one of the Bad Kids have this nature, that makes them unpredictable even to Gorgug after all these years with them, and it's one of those things about them he's come to accept. He admires it about them. Except, regularly, it often throws him off, or sends him into a frenzy that knocks him off the same rails as them.
Which is to say: the kiss, or encouragement, is that kind of chaotic choice that keeps Gorgug's mind from focusing straight. A kiss to attract him, and then a reminder that reaches out from inside Gorgug himself, and- Spring break. Spring break. They're a year younger and they're on their way to break Adaine and Aelwyn out from their prisons, bodies on fire, never feeling as connected to one another as they did then.
Gorgug doesn't reach for Fabian's arm. He doesn't turn his body over to follow Fabian's direction, to watch him go.
Instead, from behind Fabian (and even as he jumps), a rhythmless chant follows his exit. ]
Spring break! Spring break! Spring break, spring break!
[ Gorgug keeps a hold of the hope of friendship, like a flame passed on from Fabian that blazes different inside Gorgug than his own twisted rage, for as long as he's capable of doing. It dies down eventually, becomes smothered by the fear and grief that manages takes it place, but even so--
The ember persists somewhere inside him, that Fabian and Riz will do the right thing. They'll stop this. He knows they will.
Spring break. I believe in you. ]