[ O-oh. That answer is the sort that Gorgug expects from Fabian, and when he says no, Gorgug plans to say nothing more. He relinquishes the pin easily, watches as Fabian fiddles with it, compliant, and happy to be quiet.
But he is looking at Fabian. Watching him, and catching that hand that goes to his face. It's good thinking on Fabian's part then to distract him, bringing him down into a kiss that Gorgug easily accepts, that shuts off his brain; that continues to make his nerves continue that funny feeling on inside his chest.
It doesn't mean that Gorgug's forgotten what he saw just now. Or, perhaps it doesn't matter; perhaps the problem is in the way that Fabian speaks, says It's us, that touches Gorgug in a way that he's been noticing recently. Has it been because of Solmara? Where his mind has been since then, or maybe it started sooner--back when the infection of the Im'mari led his thoughts from a frustration in himself to a dissatisfaction with the state of their situation around them. Maybe it started with them in their apartment in that winter season, Fabian pushing out his frustrations out from his stubborn exterior, forcing Gorgug to shift his perspective, too.
All of that, leading Gorgug to these feelings now: of being over following supposed dangers to their worlds with no proof, of spending all his time studying and practicing, and not giving more of himself to those he cares for.
He looks at Fabian, sees his expression, and wants to say something--meaningful. Something like, I like us, but cooler, definitely cooler. 'You make me happy'?'I'm happy I'm with you'? ]
Cool, [ is what Gorgug lands on eventually; his tone a touch soft, his head pulling back out, though he doesn't move away entirely from Fabian. Eyes glancing at the pin, and then back on his face.
It's us, Fabian says, and Gorgug knows what he means. And yet, there's a lot that's us to Gorgug. There's a lot they are. ]
I've been thinking... I'm getting sick of these missions too. I don't think we've been doing what we would do, if we were all here.
[ There's parts of them that have been missing, an energy that's been lacking from Fabian, from all of them. They've been too tame. Too rule-abiding.
And Gorgug wonders, asking Fabian, to see if he's noticed it: ] Do you want to do some crazy shit and break into the hospital that's totally fucked the deeper you go down?
[ Doesn't it just seem like something they would've--or should've--done by now?
(Note: This is absolutely connected to the doki feelings inside Gorgug's heart, and not entirely unrelated.) ]
no subject
But he is looking at Fabian. Watching him, and catching that hand that goes to his face. It's good thinking on Fabian's part then to distract him, bringing him down into a kiss that Gorgug easily accepts, that shuts off his brain; that continues to make his nerves continue that funny feeling on inside his chest.
It doesn't mean that Gorgug's forgotten what he saw just now. Or, perhaps it doesn't matter; perhaps the problem is in the way that Fabian speaks, says It's us, that touches Gorgug in a way that he's been noticing recently. Has it been because of Solmara? Where his mind has been since then, or maybe it started sooner--back when the infection of the Im'mari led his thoughts from a frustration in himself to a dissatisfaction with the state of their situation around them. Maybe it started with them in their apartment in that winter season, Fabian pushing out his frustrations out from his stubborn exterior, forcing Gorgug to shift his perspective, too.
All of that, leading Gorgug to these feelings now: of being over following supposed dangers to their worlds with no proof, of spending all his time studying and practicing, and not giving more of himself to those he cares for.
He looks at Fabian, sees his expression, and wants to say something--meaningful. Something like, I like us, but cooler, definitely cooler. 'You make me happy'? 'I'm happy I'm with you'? ]
Cool, [ is what Gorgug lands on eventually; his tone a touch soft, his head pulling back out, though he doesn't move away entirely from Fabian. Eyes glancing at the pin, and then back on his face.
It's us, Fabian says, and Gorgug knows what he means. And yet, there's a lot that's us to Gorgug. There's a lot they are. ]
I've been thinking... I'm getting sick of these missions too. I don't think we've been doing what we would do, if we were all here.
[ There's parts of them that have been missing, an energy that's been lacking from Fabian, from all of them. They've been too tame. Too rule-abiding.
And Gorgug wonders, asking Fabian, to see if he's noticed it: ] Do you want to do some crazy shit and break into the hospital that's totally fucked the deeper you go down?
[ Doesn't it just seem like something they would've--or should've--done by now?
(Note: This is absolutely connected to the doki feelings inside Gorgug's heart, and not entirely unrelated.) ]