maximumlegend | etraya ic inbox.

[ Old? Old?? Please, Gorgug, some of us over here are trying to navigate adult life! You try doing what he does!

Thankfully those thoughts remain in the other's head though, so Fabian doesn't have to know and doesn't have to throw some dumb fit about it. Instead he's much more focused on what Gorgug's actually says here, giving the reading idea a little nod. It's not something he's tried himself yet, but hey, if it might work.. ]

I'm fairly sure there were some books for children in the house when I showed up here.. [ Maybe in the nursery? Honestly, Fabian has been so busy after arriving that he hasn't really thought about them again, nor bothered to look for them..

He contemplates it for a moment until he shakes his head to shake himself out of the thought. They can just go look. Which-- yes, they, because-- ]

I will go look with you. [ And then, quickly added, like he's worried about there maybe being some sort of protest from Gorgug: ] Come on, I can't possibly just go nap while you are stuck taking care of my robot baby. It wouldn't be fair.

[ Especially when Gorgug already went out of his way for him in the first place. Coming here when he didn't have to, offering to help. ]

[ Would it not be fair? After Gorgug tore off said robot's baby arm off and kinda made a mess after it in Fabian's house? ...Gorgug isn't sure about that, but he also doesn't feel like protesting about it, since he doesn't care that much. Fabian can't be feeling that old and needing a nap that bad if he's willing to find a book with him. ]

Oh, okay. [ So while he doesn't sound enthused, it doesn't mean anything deep. He's just about which way to go where for the books, although- ] I'll go take it to its bed, and you... do you have a bookcase? I can look in its room.

[ He's just kinda wondering where everything is and which direction he can go in. But he would also like to go in the direction he's going in, anyway. Maybe the crib room has a bookcase? Gorgug doesn't remember anything that doesn't involve screaming and hospital hallways. ]

Yeah, if it's anywhere around here, it ought to be in its room.

[ You know, Gorgug. The room where you ripped off the baby's arm before? That room. No pressure.

At least Fabian isn't sending him there alone. Sure, he is kind of feeling like a nap, but rather than a lack of fatigue fuelling him, it's entirely the desire to not leave his friend alone as he has to do this.

Maybe because he's exactly thinking of that little broken robot arm lying on the floor of that room, with a Gorgug standing next to it looking like he was about to burst into tears. Panicked tears. ]

.. uh, though I hope the books are-- alright.

[ Remember the Mysterious Liquid Substance all over the place back when the house was a mess, Gorgug?

Maybe the baby puke ruined the baby books. Who knows. It got everywhere.

Though when Gorgug - with Fabian in tow - arrived at the nursery, the room actually looks.. pretty alright! Clean, at least. It seems like Riz sure did some cleaning around here.. And there is in fact a small colourful bookcase that has some books for babies in them, if Gorgug looks around. ]

[ Gorgug is here to be a big boy, and face his big boy fears. It's part of the process, and while there's an initial unpleasant feeling from stepping into the room, Gorgug's been faced with plenty enough bad times to know to push through it. The only sign of discomfort is a brief wince, but Gorgug and wincing expressions is kind of a default, so it doesn't stand out as he looks about the room and spots a corner filled with baby-related entertainment.

Like cubes, and that bookshelf there.

He goes over to it, not actually understanding Fabian's warning at first until he takes out a book, and...it's not wet, but there's definitely a weird, crusty substance over the first book he removes, a small 'huh?' when he feels it, but doesn't know what the fuck it is he's touching. He just rubs his hand off on the side of his jeans, checks the front to see if he can tell what it's about...

...and he turns it to Fabian, a curious expression on his face. The front cover is colourful, showing-- ]

Dinosaurs?

[ Do you want your baby child learning about blue and purple dinosaurs, Fabian? ]

[ Though Fabian does look at it and blink for a moment or two without answering, like he has to think about it for the briefest moment..

.. then he just shrugs. ]

Sure.

[ You know what? They've been through enough. Fabian will take not ripping a baby to pieces as at least slight proof of being a good parent. No need to raise the bar to thinking too hard about what a baby should or shouldn't be hearing about.

Besides-- ]

If it's my baby, I would have to raise it to think that it could one day do great things, right? [ That is something Fabian's parents instilled in him, after all.

Perhaps a little bit too much, but that's a different conversation altogether. ]

The baby should learn about dinosaurs. So the baby can one day fight them all. [ THE SEACASTER WAY OF BABY REARING... That Gorgug is now also being pulled into.. Sorry, Gorgug. ]

[ Whoa, Fabian. You just said something that Gorgug hadn't considered ever before, and he's standing there staring at the guy for a good second before looking away for another... ]

...I wanna fight a dinosaur. [ He is now looking at Fabian again, his decision reached. Dude. Dude. Fighting a dinosaur? ] Like a t-rex? Something incredibly big.

[ No SMALL dinosaurs!!! But he's got the dinosaur book in hand, and he's looking for a spot for where they can sit and do their job. On the floor? Do they sit on the floor? How did his parents take care of him...

He looks at Fabian again. ] ...do we read to it from the crib...?

[ Are they meant to stand around the crib and read... ]

[ Fabian would say something about Gorgug's sudden passion for dinosaur fighting, but then Gorgug just continues talking, and..

.. Fabian just blinks. With his one eye. He's looking kind of confused. Not even that Gorgug doesn't know how to take care of a baby at all - it's not like Fabian is all that much better in that department, let's be real - but more that the other is asking this, when-- ]

Did your parents never read to you?

[ Look. Did Fabian's parents do that? Of course not.

But from the impression he's gotten of Gorgug's parents, he's pretty sure they would. ]

[ He's staring back at Fabian with that question, the same face looking back at him. ]

I don't remember when I was in a crib. I think I was-- too small. I don't remember? [ Does Fabian remember? He would ask, but now he's already thinking about his parents reading to him, and what he does remember... ] They used to read to me in bed, but they had to hop onto the bed to sit.

[ ... ] I don't think we can sit in the crib, or on it.

[ He's looking at the crib now. He doesn't think that's possible.

Behold, as the boys' biggest challenge yet is the dumbest of all: navigating a crib to tell a bedtime story. ]

We could just.. sit next to it.

[ Right?

That's normal, isn't it? It feels normal. Fabian doesn't have a whole lot of metrics as to what's normal when it comes to raising a baby, given his entire youth spent on a pirate ship and all and they sure as hell don't have a ship to emulate that here, but this feels normal.

He's.. He's pretty sure.

In fact, he'll even demonstrate just how normal it is, grabbing two chairs and putting them next to the crib. They're unfortunately kid-sized chairs, given that this is a nursery, but Fabian moves to sit down on one anyway. Even if it makes him look comically large. It makes him look like Gorgug, actually. ]

See, like this! We just sit like this, and we read! It's truly that simple..! [ Then why do you sound like you are desperately attempting to convince Gorgug of this, Fabian. ]

[ But Gorgug was trying to avoid the kid chairs. :(

Because they're kid chairs in every possible way. Gorgug can see himself in Fabian when he sits down, and he knows how it's going to feel when he sits down on that seat. It's the reason he's making a Face when he looks at the chair next to Fabian, like he hopes a better option will pop out from the nether--but then exhales a breath through his nostrils and gingerly lowers himself down onto the chair.

It wiggles as he sets himself down, the chair far from happy either, with his weight. ]

...this sucks...

[ Look at Grumpy THISTLESPRING here. He does mumble it to himself, while sulking in the absolute discomfort of the situation he's found himself in. This is what it means to be a good friend. A good friend to a single dad. So he's opening the book up to the first page, and without any of the energy that his own parents would use going into this... ]

Of course, dinosaurs are big. Everybody knows that... but there was just one dinosaur that was small. Very small.

[ (Gorgug knows a few things about feeling small right now.)

Gorgug is going to do his best. Which isn't going to be the most bombastic at the start (or middle, or ending), but if the Seacaster beside him has issues about his friend's delivery, maybe he should do something about it!! ]

[ Of course Fabian has issues with it.

He's one of the most dramatic men alive, after all. He might, in fact, be the most dramatic man alive now his father is technically not alive anymore. He's.. unalive? Dead-but-alive? Whatever it is, it's clearly not as alive as Fabian, so he's rightfully allowed to claim that title and everything that comes with it. Like the urge to turn even a book reading to a baby into some sort of dramatic bard spectacle.

On the other hand, it's really hard to not notice how grumpy Gorgug is being in this moment. It's just radiating off him. The way he's sitting. The way his face is. The delivery.

It makes Fabian swallow down his usual whining and complaints, not wanting to make this hard on them when the other day in the hospital was already plenty hard in its own way.

So if Gorgug looks at Fabian at all during the reading, even for a moment, there's Fabian - exaggeratedly - mouthing 'are you okay??' while gesturing. Like he doesn't want to interrupt the story for the robot baby out loud.. ]

[ The thing is, Gorgug isn't as grumpy as he's coming off.

The chair sucks. Gorgug hates the chair, it makes him feel Too Big, which is one of those things he's had to deal with his entire life. But the real problem here is...he doesn't know how he's supposed to read this story in a meaningful way. Even the robot baby in the crib is making a few unsatisfied whines now and then; not becoming entirely displeased, but not at all satisfied.

It is a Seacaster baby robot. If Fabian's not sold on Gorgug's performance, then the baby isn't going to be either!!! ]

You always know when there's a dinosaur around... [ continues Gorgug and his flat delivery. He catches Fabian's mouth flaps from the side, eyes him quizzically as, ] ...when the trees start to shake....

What?? [ ... he didn't need to whisper that. And yet, he did. What?? What's wrong? ]

[ Fabian seems to be trying really hard to convey something here to Gorgug without saying anything. Which, of course, is not exactly the most succesful thing in the world. Especially not when Fabian is perhaps a little too expressive, and Gorgug perhaps not expressive enough - meaning the latter is never going to catch up on what the weird hand gestures Fabian is making mean.

Please don't mind these two idiots treating the robot baby like it's something that can hear and react to everything if they speak up out loud..

At least he does seem to catch on to the fact that his friend isn't going to realize what he's trying to say here after a minute or so of gesturing, so Fabian opens his mouth to ask, still not too loud-- ]

Are you alright? You're reading like-- [ It would help if Fabian put a word to this. Gave an explanation. Remembered he knows Gorgug well enough to know the other isn't just going to pick up on vibes.

And yet-- ] You know.

[ You know! ]

[ Can't it hear them, Fabian??? Isn't it judging them every second of their lives?

Which is why Gorgug doesn't mind whispering, since they're trying to lull the baby to sleep, and not with conversation that detracts from its bedtime story (would it notice? would it care?). But that, apparently, is not going to continue as Fabian turns up the volume a little more, to-- ...absolutely nothing of help. He's being paused from the storybook, staring at Fabian like he's got something on his face: puzzled, bewildered. ]

Like-- what? [ What??? ] It's a baby book. It's-- [ now he's making a gesture with one hand, circling around as he tries to find the right word (with a pinch of consideration to the baby, before--): ] --dumb.

[ Babies are dumb, Fabian! Does he need to show you the book? Hold it up so you can see the pages and the big, simple text? He can! He will!! ]

It's a performance, Gorgug!

[ Despite the way Fabian's voice is pretty insistent, he is still keeping the volume down. Relatively speaking. It makes his voice just above a whisper, but with that same hissing quality to it, considering the lack of volume. ]

The baby isn't going to sleep if the story isn't interesting enough! [ It's likely this is not an actual parental lesson Fabian knows.

It's much more likely it's just that the half-elf figures. Especially when he wouldn't like a boring story. Despite not being a baby, which would technically put him in no position to judge the quality of stories for babies.. ]

[ Gorgug, for a moment, is looking at Fabian with the same baffled expression he was wearing previous. As he shares this knowledge, only--it's stunned. Like this is some kind of new information that Fabian is imparting onto him, and Gorgug looks back down at the book, held the wrong way for him to actually see more than the spine. ]

...

[ ...and he holds it out to his dramatic friend, his thumb keeping it open on the page it's on. ]

You read it.

[ It's not even bitter or challenging. It's just. So simple.

There is an issue here, and Fabian knows how to fix it. Therefore...

Have fun, dad. ]

[ Fabian groans when Gorgug holds out that book to him. ]

I told you, I'm tired!

[ But despite his whining - or rather, at the exact same time as his whining - he's already getting up from his chair and taking the book from his friend. Like he's protesting the very thing he's already doing.

And what a thing he's doing. Because the moment Fabian stands upright, the dramatics ensue. He's clearing his throat. He's holding the book like he's about to recite Shakespeare, instead of reading a story meant for little babies.

What ensues is the performance of a lifetime. Fabian leaps across the room. He imitates a dinosaur. There's a musical number midway through that is clearly not in the actual book for babies. All the way until-- ]

The end!

[ He's bowing.

The baby is at least giggling, though who knows how much of all of that it even understood.. It's just a robot baby, after all.. ]

[ The first surprising part is when Fabian doesn't even sit back down.

Not that Gorgug really had expectations. At most, he figured Fabian would use his droning voice for when he's doing something he doesn't really want to, exasperated by his circumstances (like having to explain a very simple concept--simple to him). But instead, he goes all out, apparently: for a very tired dad. Gorgug worries at moments that he should be shuffling himself aside on his chair, but it would be hard to do, considering how plastic and wobbly his small seat is.

But for the most part, he gets to enjoy his friend's performance as much as the baby does. Or more? He's classing his hands anyway upon the bow and the declaration, loudly, right above his head to really show he's going for it!!

Listen! Even the baby liked it!! ]

Part two! Part two!!

[ wait no ]

Part--

[ Look, Fabian loves a good encore.

But it's like finishing up the story did remind his body and mind of how tired it is right about now, because the thought of doing a part two of that story with the same levels of energy just seems to make everything shut down up in his mind. The facial expression that appears on Fabian's face is nothing short of comical. (Maybe he's still stuck in dramatic mode, here at the end of the story.) ]

Part two? No, I was going to nap, I--

[ Fabian tears his gaze away from his friend to look over at the baby, as if he's only remembering this entire thing was about the baby, rather than about Gorgug, in the first place.

Then, with full exasperation: ] It's not even asleep!

[ :(

It's all ruined now. ]

[ Bro, you weren't building up to a part two? Gorgug is far too impressed to consider quickly enough the way that Fabian's expression works, and he follows his gaze over to the baby that, yes-- this was about. ]

You got way into it, you made it exciting-- there's no way it can sleep. [ Horrid words to say to a friend who wants to sleep himself...!!

Unless. That's an unless that Gorgug doesn't voice, popping into his head, but he thinks for a second silently, then carefully lifts himself up from his seat and over to the crib. The baby is gurgling cheerfully, perhaps from the excitement of the story already ended or from seeing Gorgug's face, or both. Regardless, he carefully extracts the baby from the crib, remembering something from when he was younger, that his parents did from him. Not a story, but instead...

He sings softly a lullaby--originally meant for gnomes, but adjusted to a half-orc baby. His voice hushed, and he carefully, ever so carefully rocks the child in his arms. There's words he doesn't exactly remember, and he hums over those part, nose wrinkling when that happens. But Gorgug gets over it when he still needs more words to think, to continue to lull the little robot baby to sleep... ]

Your dad is a pirate man...
Part elf, and part man, a human man...
He fights all dangers, and he dances with pride...
And you can always count on him to be by your side...
Yeah, he's a dancing pirate... a dancing pirate that watches over you...

He's my best friend, and he's your dad... and he wants you to say good night...

[ ♪ ]

[ Fabian definitely goes quiet when Gorgug stands up. Mostly because he isn't too sure of what his friend is planning on doing here, and he's staring kind of blankly while he's watching Gorgug wander over closer to the crib, slowly blinking..

.. and then just continuing to blink when Gorgug does the last thing that Fabian expected. Maybe he should have expected it, given that it's not exactly the first time Gorgug has done it, but it's something so unlike Fabian himself that he's completely caught by surprise by it.

Stunned. Unable to move or speak. He just stands there, listening to Gorgug's entire improvised song.

It's kind of hard to say whether Fabian is touched or cringing. Maybe it's a little bit of both, actually, and he isn't really sure which of the two he should allow to win here. But before Fabian can even make a decision, he's noticing something else when he looks at the little bundle in Gorgug's arms, making Fabian's voice drop to a whisper when he finally does speak up. ]

.. the baby's sleeping.

[ Who would've known? Gorgug did it!! ]

[ Gorgug's continuing to hum, following a made up tune between his lips, and he glances over at Fabian when he speaks before looking back down at the baby. Sure enough, a less energetic approach has won (as well as a less monotone one, too). He still continues to hum small notes as he walks back over to the crib, settling the robotic baby back onto the soft bedding, lifting away his arms and retreating slowly from it.

Hmmm, hmmming a little more before, quietly to Fabian: ]

Let's get outta here.

[ Please, bro, please. Let's escape before the baby changes its mind!!! Lead the way outta the door!! ]

[ Okay, okay-- Getting out of here! Maybe not too quickly though, because Fabian is worried that a little bit too much sound might wake the robot baby right back up again. Especially when it felt like the baby truly never wanted to go to sleep back when Fabian was just desperately trying to care for it himself.

But even though they have to sneak out of the room quietly, and a little slowly because of that, they do manage to sneak out.

And when they close the door behind them, Fabian finally dares to release a breath he was holding. Like he was worried even that would be too loud. ]

I thought it was never going to go to sleep. [ He admits, his volume only a little bit above a whisper. ] I feel exhausted now.

[ Don't start judging him like he's some grandpa again, okay, Gorgug. He's been working all day!! He had to put on a performance for the baby!! That's like working and then doing another part-time job right after, and back home Fabian notoriously never works!! ]

[ Gorgug would like to rush, but he will also take (while understanding) silently rushing, in a not very fast way. It makes sense! They've got to use some slick moves here or the baby might wake up again!

And the relief that runs through Fabian and expels in a sigh is the same one Gorgug experiences, once he can safely put his back to the door (without actually leaning on said door...we don't want to get careless, now). But while Fabian is showing his age, or, okay, his exhaustion, a small smile does creep on Gorgug's lips, showing the tips of his tusks. ]

It's 'cause you put on a whole show for the baby. I thought you forgot you wanted it to sleep.

[ But, even so (in case Fabian didn't get the memo): ] It was good. You could join the drama club.

[ Imagine, Fabian... imagine joining those losers who made a drama club in an adventuring school!! ]

Ugh.

[ That's such a dramatic ugh too, despite the fact that Fabian just said he's tired. As if it's important that he truly shows his dislike of the idea here. ]

Ugh. [ See? He's even repeating it! That's how important it is that it gets across to Gorgug that Fabian Does Not Want this! Does Not Like this idea! ] Absolutely not. I am never going near them. I have too much popular kid credit to waste now!

[ He's too busy being a maximum legend, Gorgug! Look at the tattoo! It's also important! ]

You know what club I am joining right now? [ Fabian says, starting to move through the hall in the direction of the bedroom. ] The bed club. That's where I am going.

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