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[ Gorgug doesn't look. He makes a show like he might, when there's a second of silence where Fabian doesn't keep speaking; turning his head, but not making eye contact--just a sound, a 'mm?' to show he's paying attention.

But regardless, the fact that Fabian says what he does--he feels stupid. He isn't sure if anything going through his head makes sense, or--does he believe any of that? Is he being weirdly emotional for no reason? Gorgug can't get his thoughts straight, even with Fabian there beside him asking him what's wrong.

The crystal computer shuts down, and he exhales; tries to find in his own mind what's reasonable to even bring up or say without dismissing Fabian's concern entirely. But none of it, reflecting back, feels right. ]

I'm a little-- I'm a lot tired. My head feels weird. Sorry, I, I kinda don't know what I should be doing right now.

[ He turns to Fabian as he says it, his gaze hard to keep on the other at first. But he rubs at his face like it might help his situation, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes to give them a good rub, too.

Then he looks at Fabian, standing there, the same old Fabian, and tries to not think about any places, sixth or seventh or eighth. It doesn't matter. He's being stupid right now. ]

I'm okay. Let's get Adaine, then-- I'm gonna sleep. I'll sleep for a week.

[ A lot tired sounds about right. Though it's a little concerning if these are the places Gorgug's mind goes to when he's tired. Is that an usual thing? Is it this place getting to him, or Adaine being in trouble getting to him, or maybe everything getting to him at once-- Fabian can't tell, but he knows he worries. ]

Look, not to sound like Jawbone here or anything.

[ Because god knows that the male half of their party loves to do nothing more than run away from him whenever he starts like this. Or-- well, Riz and Fabian, anyway, since the way they're unwell is a little more visible. ]

But it's okay to not be okay. Or whatever he'd say. And by that I mean-- You need to rest now. I'm making an executive decision here, alright? If you don't watch out, I'm going to proclaim myself party leader and force your ass to bed regularly. [ Wouldn't that be so scary, Gorgug!! Just imagine it!!

He moves to put his hands on the other's cheek - mostly to keep Gorgug's head in place. To avoid letting the other look away from him again when Fabian says: ]

You're going to get with me on the Hangman, and then I'll bring you back to the apartment for some sleep. Then we'll go back here and work out the Adaine situation first thing in the morning, alright? Just as long as I am convinced you are well rested enough for it. [ He shakes his head. ] You know she would not want you to completely tear yourself apart like this for her sake.

[ There's the start of a small; small, sheepish, around the point of Fabian calling himself team party leader and all his horrid threats. They're not bad--Fabian's got a point, and he would've agreed around then, if not what happens next. A gesture that shouldn't lead to anything, but--

Fabian touches his cheek. Tilts it to put Gorgug's attention on him, and Gorgug does look at him, his eyes on Fabian's one as he tells him the plan, what they're going to do. And he's listening--he is. He's also noting how Fabian's hands are nice to the touch, his skin calloused, but it's not the first time Gorgug's noticed that.

The change is small, subtle. But his eyes do look away, if briefly: down to Fabian's lips, the view of his collarbone peeking out, and Gorgug doesn't need to think hard. His mind remembers their disaster of a spar, and why his mind goes places to see Fabian's skin.

...Fabian's being nice to him, and he has thoughts like that. He wouldn't be standing this close to him if he knew--he wouldn't be offering to give him a ride if he knew.

Gorgug doesn't immediately respond. He closes his eyes, nodding his head in agreement when he can't get the words out first. But, with that done: ] --Sleep, sleep first. That's what I meant. Promise.

[ His eyes open as he speaks, but looking at Fabian the way he's holding him to is a struggle he can't keep up, and Gorgug raises his hands to take Fabian's, gently lowering them while spreading his mouth into as reassuring of a smile as he can muster. ]

Let's go, captain, [ he says, to encourage Fabian to get moving--to not have them linger. He's ready, please, he's ready. He can't keep having Fabian look at him like this. ]

[ See, the problem here is that Fabian could clearly realize something was wrong with Gorgug a moment ago, but there's no way he's going to realize that any of this is going on inside of the other guy's mind now. To Fabian it just looks like Gorgug finally managed to realize somewhere inside of his sleep-deprived mind that Fabian was right about this whole thing, and it just makes him smile at the other, easily allowing Gorgug to grab Fabian's hands and lower them.

He's still staring for a moment though. Sorry, Gorgug. It's not terribly long in reality, but it might feel longer in Gorgug's mind when he's already so occupied with these thoughts.. ]

Great, let's go.

[ Then he finally - mercifully, perhaps - turns away to start heading out of the lab. If Gorgug was still holding onto Fabian's hand, then he's not bothering to pry it out of Gorgug's grip. Might as well tug him along to make sure he really is following him, rather than grabbing any excuse he can get to stay in the lab.

The Hangman is already waiting outside, and Fabian will at least definitely let go of his friend's hand so he can settle in on top of his bike, leaving an empty spot in the back for Gorgug. ]

Come on, get on. We will be back in no time thanks to the Hangman.

[ Gorgug doesn't keep a hold of that hand--what right does he for the contact, that he deserves to? But he follows Fabian's lead all the same, happy to keep behind him unless Fabian tells him to hurry it. Then again, it's only for as long as it takes for them to get outside to the Hangman, where all the while... Gorgug wants to say something, desperately.

I don't feel good. I don't feel good.

It's trapped there in his throat, kept in place by the shame. He might not be looking Fabian in the face (soft features, his smile cool-looking on that face), but he can't get rid of the feeling that he's doing something so bad. And-- and he understands the reason, but why? Why is he feeling this bad about it, right now? When he couldn't keep his head on straight before Fabian showed up here.

He doesn't speak to the Hangman once they arrive to him. He keeps quiet, hums in the affirmative when Fabian speaks, and gets onto the back of the motorcycle with him, placing his feet either side of the back wheel. It's not the hardest part: that's reserved for his mind telling him to put his arms around Fabian's waist, lean in. It makes his skin burn between the layers of his clothes, and he ignores it, knows he'll ignore it by putting his hands on Fabian's shoulders instead.

The sooner they get back, the sooner he can get to bed. He needs to stop thinking about everything now--he needs his thoughts to stop racing like he's going to suffer a heart attack. ]

[ Fabian takes off practically the moment they're seated - like he doesn't want to give Gorgug time to change his mind about this, to decide that he wants to hang back all the same, like the easiest solution to the other's condition isn't obviously just to spend a night in a comfortable bed. Away from the work that's been driving him crazy.

It's why the hands on his shoulders also stand out to him. That's just how it usually works whenever the guys are hitching a ride on the Hangman, after all, and Fabian knows that Gorgug is strong enough to easily be able to hold on just by his hands resting on Fabian's shoulders like that.

Fabian does attempt to make some small talk along the ride, but most of it is replied to more by the Hangman - another thing Fabian doesn't really find too strange. Gorgug is tired. Fabian's more just trying to entertain himself during the ride, and he talks to the Hangman often enough while they're driving. It feels relatively normal.

So when they reach the apartment building and get off the bike, Fabian just smiles at Gorgug like nothing is up. ]

Told you, right? No time at all! The Hangman truly is a marvel, I don't know how we ever did anything here without him.

[ Depending on how much Gorgug might or might not feel like answering though, it seems the bike has got him covered in not leaving an awkward silence hanging here, considering it roars with a: Sire, your praise makes me feel as if I were back in the Nine Hells..! ]

Anyway, Gorgug, you think you can still walk up some stairs right now?

[ The air does something. Help, maybe, but it might be fairer to contribute that to the Hangman's speed than solely to the wind whipping at their faces for it. Gorgug doesn't have to think, he doesn't, and he uses the noise of the ride to cancel out his brain from focusing on anything--on thinking about Fabian in front of him, the idea of slipping his hands lower down his waist.

(He doesn't think about it. He doesn't feel it, the need, to do it.)

It goes on long enough--that and the sound of Fabian's words that he half-heartedly listens to, gives short responses to--and he's feeling something in control of himself by the time that the vehicle comes to a stop. The apartments are a sight of relief, and he gets off with a hand brushing over his face and hair; but he does manage to acknowledge the Hangman, joining in Fabian's praises with a ] Thanks, Hangman.

[ You know, nice and simple. He's looking back at the apartments again, the one that houses their flat, but looks at Fabian when he asks his question. ]

I'm okay. [ He must seem that pathetic right now, huh. But Gorgug works a smile to reassure Fabian on his face, and he starts towards the building to show that he's not that out of it. ] I'll go straight to bed when we get in. [ A beat. ] ...how about you?

[ At the thanks from Gorgug as well, the Hangman roars its engine in appreciation - though it doesn't say anything more, perhaps wanting to give its master a chance to answer Gorgug's inquiry instead without interfering. ]

Ah, I'm not that tired. [ He says, followed up by a shake of his head. Sure, this place has been tiring him out for months in a sense - but Fabian knows there's only so much he can do about Adaine and the others' predicament in comparison to Gorgug. He's been asking around about it, trying to put people's talents to work, but.. that's all he can do. He can't even push himself to pull all-nighters working on it even if he'd want to.

So it's not like he's lying. Compared to Gorgug, he definitely looks more well-rested. ]

I was thinking of getting some practice in instead. [ He moves his hips from side to side a little to implicate he means dance practice, not sword practice, and then starts to head into the apartment building, looking back at Gorgug as he walks. ] But first I have to make sure you're really going to sleep, and not just sit there and worry. Or try to sneak back out to your lab.

[ He wouldn't put it past you at this point, Gorgug! ]

[ Fabian's fussing should be seen as playful, affectionate--thinking about a friend who's so tired that he's not speaking straight, and Gorgug should see that. But maybe he isn't thinking so straight, and he just sees the effort being put forward. It does make Gorgug slow his steps, since: ]

I won't. I'll go to sleep--I'll go straight there. [ He's looking at Fabian, but if he's looking back at Gorgug, he'll gesture his head back at the Hangman. ] Are you going somewhere, or out here? You don't have to follow me....

[ He could be planning to do it in the living room, though....their place is kind of messy in that too full way that Gorgug doubts would be satisfying for Fabian (Riz jumps and climbs on anything he pleases, but he's Riz, there's a height difference). So there's probably somewhere else he wants to be, and if Fabian can be a bro, shouldn't Gorgug be a bro back? ]

I'm okay, [ he tries to reassure. Maybe he needs to do that? He feels like he needs to do that, even if he can't quite grasp the need for Fabian to worry, or-- do anything about him.

(Seventh place.) ]

[ There's something about Gorgug's behaviour today that Fabian really can't fully place. He keeps trying to blame it on the other's sleeplessness, but it doesn't feel right. Even if Gorgug is really tired, surely his brain wouldn't keep going around in these circles, right?

And yet it's like every single thing Fabian says somehow manages to point Gorgug back to this point. To trying to push Fabian away, get him to do something else. Anything else that isn't focusing on Gorgug or helping him.

What's up with that? Gorgug is never like that. Fabian can't remember a single instance. ]

What if I want to go with you?

[ So he just decides to lean into it. Pointing out what Gorgug is doing didn't go over well earlier, so he doesn't want to do that. This feels like the easiest way to instead do it. The most Fabian-like way. It'll probably just seem natural if he says it like this with a light and playful tone, especially when he turns to look at Gorgug with that typical Fabian smile. ]

Edited 2024-11-04 12:33 (UTC)

[ Fabian may be finding something odd about Gorgug, but Gorgug finds it strange that Fabian wants to come with him. Why? Is this a test? If it's easier to just stay downstairs than to go all the way to their apartment or bed again, why isn't Fabian going for the more logical answer in this situation? It makes him feel tense in a way he can't explain, like Fabian truly doesn't believe him--or can't trust him, and...

Doesn't he have a good reason for that? Because he's Gorgug.

He bows his head, looking at his hands for a second. ]

Why? I'm not gonna get lost.

[ He opts for a joking tone, trying for the same effect as Fabian's voice seems to be going for. If reassuring Fabian that he's okay doesn't work, then won't making it sound like he doesn't need to be babied be the better route? Fabian can relax, he doesn't need to watch out for him. ]

[ With them wandering into the building, Fabian takes a quick few steps ahead of them - almost like leaps, though it's not fully jumping. It's almost more like he's dancing, especially when he jumps up onto the first staircase and twirls himself around by the guardrails to face Gorgug again, an easy smile on his face. ]

Maybe I want to.

[ If it wasn't for the fact that they have established the mood of just being two friends joking around with each other right now, that could definitely sound like flirting, especially combined with the expression on Fabian's face.

In fact, if anyone else happened to be entering the apartments at the same time as them and witnessed this, they might assume the same thing, especially with Gorgug looking faintly embarrassed. ]

Have you considered that yet?

[ It is friendly. It's overly fun, and Gorgug thinks--that it has to be on purpose. This is deliberate, and his mind knows where to take it; because while others might see this from the outside and take a flirty tone to it...

He's mocking me. The voice plants itself, and it fits too well into place. Doesn't it make sense? Fabian coming all the way out to the lab in the first place, the kid gloves he's been treating him with. He's someone to take care of, he's got a job to do: he's the one who's got to figure out how to bring Adaine back.

The thought is enough to spike the emotions that are always presence in his gut, as he's staring back at Fabian, the exasperation already reaching up in the hold of his shoulders. ]

Why can't you just fucking let me go to bed on my own?

[ --And up, and out of his mouth. He snaps, and it's not something he hasn't done before, especially throughout his time in junior year and the building coursework he was under stress with. He's stopped walking, his expression incredulous over his usually perplexed crease of his brows.

Fabian knows what he's doing. He's treating him like a kid. ]

[ ...

Fabian stops.

If the situation wasn't so serious, it might even have been comical. Because Fabian still was showing off there on the stairs, and Gorgug's remark hits him so out of the blue that it startles him mid-twirl, making Fabian almost fall down the few steps he's been standing on. It's only thanks to his good reflexes that he manages to catch himself in time before he just falls flat on his face on the ground - a hand shooting out to grab the rails of the stairs, pulling himself back up onto his feet before he can fully fall.

But standing up also means his facial expression is much more visible. And that means it's very obvious that Fabian is absolutely dumbfounded by what he's hearing here, staring at his friend with a wide eye for a moment.

It's true that it's not like Gorgug hasn't reacted like this before. But it's not like Fabian hasn't ran into it that often either, and he didn't expect it to suddenly emerge here and now. ]

What?

[ The word instinctively slides out of his throat before Fabian has even thought about it. Something about the way it sounds is odd. It's a little more high-pitched, it makes him sound younger, somehow. Like the surprise is so genuinely that it's dragging some of the maturity right out of him, leaving this in its wake.

Fabian opens and closes his mouth for a few moments. It looks like he isn't sure what to say, but something about him looks genuinely hurt during said moments. It might even look like he's about to cry, though Fabian blinks a few times in rapid succession to keep that from happening. Nope. Nuh-uh. He's denying himself the tears. Not now!! ]

I just-- [ He looks like he's trying to regain his usual self, some sort of better exterior that doesn't make him feel as pathetic. It partially works, but it doesn't fit entirely into place.

It's messy. Fabian can't fully make it work. ]

I just wanted us to spend some time together.

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