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[ Know what it sounds like is coming from Fabian? The words of someone who doesn't know what to offer up for a bribe!!

But don't worry, Riz. Gorgug is here to quick the most slickest, subtle nod of acknowledgement. He knows what the deal is here! ]

I just think I could think better with a bribe.

[ He's so smooth about this, too. ]

[ You know what shows the fact that Riz clearly is the sneakiest rogue ever? The fact that Fabian doesn't seem to realize whatsoever that the other is mouthing things behind his back. Or even Gorgug's nod. They are both being so smooth here. That's clearly it, and not Fabian being way too far gone into dramatics to stop and think for a second. ]

What?! No!

[ That's his first offended reply to Riz, but the look he's giving Gorgug right after is just as offended. He's glancing from friend to friend like both of the other boys have gone crazy right in front of his eyes. ]

There is plenty I could bribe Gorgug with, and we all know it! It's just a matter of-- of principle!

[ You know. Principles.

Things weird half-pirate half-elf families notoriously have. ]

If we set this standard here, then Gorgug is going to squeeze us for all we are worth every single time we are having an argument about something! It has to stop now before it goes too far!

[ jysk gorgug is here nodding in agreement about him squeezing the both of you for everything you have, until the part where it has to stop.

he is then shaking his head. ]

Plenty, huh? I dunno about that one, man... I'm the one who's good at chores, here.

[ He grins toothily at him. It's not him trying to brag - and even if he was, being able to sufficiently cook and clean isn't so much bragworthy as it is an indication that he's managed the bare minimum - but rather a promise to Gorgug: I'll do the dishes.

He actually does genuinely believe that Fabian has the better name and doesn't care much about winning or losing. Now, it's just a matter of steadily winding Fabian up for the fun of it. ]

But you're right, of course! It would be dishonourable!

[ You know! Like a Rogue! ]

[ Gorgug hears Riz loud and clear, since who here is trying to offer anything? Not Fabian, that's for sure. They're even on the same page as to what the true goal here is: winding Fabian up, and possibly getting him to break.

Even if Gorgug's honour is being put into question here, which--when does a guy like Gorgug thinks about his honour? It's pretty hard to, after the adventures he's had with the Bad Kids. So he just shrugs after Riz has spoken, acting nonchalant before: ]

Doesn't sound like Fabian's got anything but hot air to offer, from where I'm sitting.

[ Fighting words!! From Gorgug!!! You better open your ears!! ]

Some people here just seem to appreciate my worth better than others.

[ Okay, so maybe winding Fabian up is the true goal than even getting him to succumb. Will he with that? Gorgug doesn't know, but he knows he's having fun with Riz here.

(This may or may not break out into a fight. Even with Fabian's injuries.) ]

Some people-- [ Fabian echoes, starting to sputter.

Despite the fact that his body still feels terrible, he somehow manages to leap to his feet all the same. Jumping off the couch, and then standing in front of it - turning around so he can look at both Gorgug and Riz at the same time. Please don't look too hard at the bruising that's still left in his face after last night, okay, Fabian sure isn't paying attention to it himself as he starts to ramble, shooting both of his friends offended looks here. ]

When have I ever not appreciated you, huh? Either of you! [ Oh, so Riz.. is involved too now..

Who knows why. Fabian hasn't even caught on to their little conspiracy, it's probably that he's getting so worked up that he's determined to prove himself in everything here, not even necessarily trying to win a bribe competition. ]

Think about all of the things I have done for you two before in the past! And then you won't even let me pick a decent team name? You guys would rather go with something uncool? [ He sounds so passionate.. Like he's making a speech on the debate stage to become president or something, rather than something that's this low stakes. ]

See, Gorgug? First it's I'm so appreciative of you guys, why don't you guys appreciate me back and then boom! He couldn't even be nice for a full five sentences! Now he's calling my name stupid! I never called your name stupid.

[ Riz is now leaned back, fingers laced over his stomach, an expression of poorly concealed amusement crossing his face. There will be a point at which they have to stop somewhere in between Fabian going red-faced and him storming off, but the whole ordeal is kind of funny.

And it's nice to see, after how shit everything was, and how serious things were. Sometimes, you just gotta talk shit about team names. ]

I'm a good cook, [ he says cheerfully, as his contribution. He pauses. ] I mean, I cook.

[ 'Good' is questionable. ]

That's gotta count for at least five points.

[ When did points enter the equation???? ]

[ Honestly, this feels like something that would be happening to them in their travels. Some stupid argument, except Gorgug's getting into one (and he has been enjoying those more recently), and goading Fabian like this is--exciting, really. Even if Fabian's bruised up, and Riz, and Gorgug isn't at all bruised, it's good to see his friends light up argumentatively.

And who always does so easily? ...well, a bunch of them if they're including the other Bad Kids. But always Fabian. He's always got an opinion.

Too bad Riz is on his side, which just empowers Gorgug more. ]

He never called your name uncool, [ Gorgug repeats after Riz, an echo, making this clearly 2 against 1. Because that 1 doesn't want to play by their rules in their game, which is also partially about getting Fabian to.

And just to show how easy it is to get far when you do play their game, when Riz says five points, Gorgug points at him. ]

Five points. [ And, pointing to Fabian next. ] Zero points. You've gotta catch up. You're gonna lose. You're gonna be a zero.

[ Come on, Fabian!! Do you want to be a zero!? ]

I am calling the name uncool because it is uncool!

[ Fabian's pitch is definitely shooting up here.. Way up. It's still audible - look, we're not talking Pinocchio levels here, okay - but he's definitely so worked up over absolutely nothing. Riz and Gorgug are playing him like a fiddle.

Especially because this is so ridiculous, honestly. Maybe Fabian would be slightly less worked up if this wasn't so ridiculous, but the fact that he has to listen to these arguments like they have anything to do with naming things is only getting him more frustrated.

It's like when you know you're right, and someone keeps purposefully telling you that you're wrong. He will explode. He looks like he's about to explode at the word zero.

So standing isn't enough. He must do more.

He is absolutely stepping on top of the coffee table that's right in front of the couch. ]

I-- [ He pounds hard on his chest with one hand. And absolutely winches when that is 100% hitting his bruises, but. You know. You got to endure the pain to be able to have the dramatics. ] --am Fabian Aramais Seacaster! I am a Maximum Legend! If it weren't for me, neither of you would have been invited to the coolest house party that Elmville had seen in a thousand years!

[ Yes, he is saying that as dramatically as you imagine it. He's on the barricades leading the French Revolution over here. ]

And yet you two would dare call me a zero?! Yet you say I am not nice, The Ball?! When all I have been doing is sharing my natural popularity with my good friends, who are now backstabbing me!

Edited 2025-02-25 16:10 (UTC)

[ Riz wheezes.

He just can't keep it up anymore. Seeing Fabian get riled up enough to step onto the table itself has officially destroyed him, still delirious from last night's colourful events, injuries nagging at him even as he clutches at the armrest of the sofa for dear life, claws on one hand sinking into the fabric while the other is raised to try to cover his face, though his shoulders still shake with laughter. ]

Shit, [ he mutters. ] Ow, fuck.

[ It's probably what he deserves for riling Fabian up when he's just as fucked up, but in his defense -- in his defense, it's really, really funny. Gorgug's lethal like that. Riz can talk until the cows come home, but Gorgug can rile someone up with just a few sentences. He can kind of play off his laughter as a cough, but he's never been the subtlest guy in the world. ]

Would it really have been the coolest house party in Elmville if Gorgug and I weren't there? [ He shoots back instead, eyes bright with mirth. ] If anything, we helped!

[ He considers this. ]

Well, Gorgug helped. And he's the judge, soooooo...

[ Gorgug is in awe of the demonstration, himself. It's like watching the theatre kids at school, or that specific one with the aura of an actor, the one with the beret. Fabian would be good on a stage of any kind, and is inspiring in the way that Gorgug wants to get riled up too. Kinda tap into that half-orc energy of his that he's been letting loose of more.

But it's Riz beside him--coughing, wheezing, in pain, and totally trying not to laugh--that makes Gorgug remember what they're actually doing here, and not get too lost inside Fabian's growing energy. But also, that was totally a cough that Riz took. The courts can't prove otherwise.

And Gorgug is the judge here. So while listening to Riz, looking at him and nodding his head as he remembers his duty, he looks back at Fabain. Totally smiling. Totally happy. He's an Important Person right now.

He leans forward, an elbow on his knee as he informs Fabian: ]

Give me your best offer.

[ Make your gamble, Fabian. ]

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