maximumlegend | etraya ic inbox.

[ Gorgug wouldn't have thought Fabian's been sitting here wanting to get his kisses in this entire time, but is Gorgug going to complain? He wouldn't be able to, anyway, when Fabian's coming in and pressing their lips together, something fond on Gorgug's own as, maybe, in this moment, he doesn't mind being a big idiot.

Except he should mind, probably. Fix that about himself in the future so he doesn't make Fabian upset, or so they don't both get upset. But this is a better mood to be kissing in than the one Gorgug was in before. He does want to kiss Fabian, and he reciprocates it, resting a hand on Fabian's cheek and feeling warm with this new understanding after the messy back and forth they were having before. A very, very dumb messy back and forth.

He doesn't pull away far when he does, just so he can look at Fabian and say: ]

Thanks for talking this out with me.

[ You know. He doesn't think Fabian wanted to, but he appreciates that he did. ]

[ Gorgug's assessment is entirely right, and Fabian's expression when he hears the other says that confirms as much instantly. Though it seems like a complicated mix of emotions, if you'd have to pick one that's mainly present in it, it's definitely embarrassment.

Talking it out is not a fun experience, even if it did end up well! .. he thinks! ]

Is that.. [ ... ] .. you know, something you might want to do again in the future?

[ Help. Save him now. ]

[ Gorgug nods, sure of this, even if it's not vigorous. Kissing and making out is fun, but talking about bad feelings? ... ]

I want to know if you feel bad, because I-- I want to know how you're feeling. [ That's Relationships 101!! ] Even if it's a hard conversation.

We've...talked about this before.

[ Right? Wanting to be honest with one another, or sharing difficult feelings. Gorgug reaching over and holding Fabian's hand after coming back to their apartment with a bundle of knitwear on.

Things have changed, but Gorgug hasn't forgotten that. Just, it was him this time who started off feeling bad.

...

..and it wasn't as serious as that day, probably...]

That was different. [ Fabian says, sulking.

At least he does immediately seem to remember what event Gorgug is referencing, so that talk must have lingered somewhere in Fabian's mind.. ]

That was about talking about how shitty this place is. [ How shitty it made Fabian feel, specifically, but-- ] That's easier. That's just true.

[ He lowers his hand from Fabian's cheek, moving it to wrap around the back of his neck. Just to continue to have that skin-to-skin contact, something nice. For him, anyway. ]

It wasn't easy for you. [ Fabian's saying that, but... ] You weren't happy.

[ A beat. ] Was it easy being sad?

[ He may be vague on the specifics by now, but as Gorgug recalls the way he found Fabian, he saw him in the worst state he ever has. Defeated, lost, exhausted from being so frustrated with Etraya, and even the people in it. Feeling hopeless. It hadn't been easy to get out of Fabian, even though he had, eventually.

Gorgug doesn't ask the question to make Fabian reflect, but out of uncertainty himself. He doesn't believe it--and maybe Gorgug can't really remove Fabian's feelings from the equation. Even if Fabian might be. ]

[ It's with great reluctance - and very obviously so, since it's practically dripping from Fabian's every word he speaks here - that he answers: ]

No.

[ He still sounds like he's sulking. Even though it's nice that Gorgug is touching him, and even though it's nice that Gorgug is being so sweet.

At least he isn't trying to actively run away from all of this. Literally running away, that is. Maybe Gorgug's touch is keeping him grounded for the moment, or maybe Fabian doesn't just want to bail on the other. It feels too mean.

Even though it sucks to admit to how pathetic he had been back then. And even though it also sucks to admit: ]

But at least back then I hadn't hurt you.

[ A part of him doesn't want to agree. About being hurt, even though it's technically true; but it feels pointless for where they are right now, that Gorgug only shrugs his shoulders to begin, to replace any acknowledgement. ]

You stuck around and talked with me. I think...everyone just wants to be understood. And that's better than going home and feeling like we don't understand each other.

[ In his opinion. Awkwardly honest, working around words he works to formulate on the spot, even though he means them. Getting hurt means less than when it feels like you've been listened to, and understood. ]

I wasn't trying to hurt you, either.

[ And that's the thing, isn't it? They weren't trying. They were just worked up, emotional over nothing. ]

etraya ic inbox.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject