fabian aramais seacaster (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
maximumlegend) wrote2024-04-26 08:23 pm
maximumlegend) wrote2024-04-26 08:23 pm
etraya ic inbox.
▶︎၊၊|||||၊၊၊|။||||။၊|။ 0:20
You have reached a MAXIMUM LEGEND!
[ That does seem like a weirdly specific invitation. Not even the part about coming to see something at Gorgug's lab - that does seem like something Gorgug might ask, even if maybe not now of all times. But going to.. watch the stars with him? Is that something bros do? Is it a bro activity? Does Gorgug have some reason to ask him?
It means he's quiet for a slight moment - letting all those thoughts pass through his head before he speaks up, since he's bound to blurt out some stupid random thought if he's still actively having it while opening his mouth - until he speaks up again. ]
No, I can come over to your lab. [ He still sounds a touch baffled. Fabian seems to realize as much at this point though, he's quick to put a little bit more Fabian Pep™ in his tone when he continues. He wants this to be a positive thing for Gorgug. To show the other that things can totally be normal again. That Gorgug can invite him over and have it all be totally normal. ] If you have something you want to show me, then I want to see it! Should I come over right now?
It means he's quiet for a slight moment - letting all those thoughts pass through his head before he speaks up, since he's bound to blurt out some stupid random thought if he's still actively having it while opening his mouth - until he speaks up again. ]
No, I can come over to your lab. [ He still sounds a touch baffled. Fabian seems to realize as much at this point though, he's quick to put a little bit more Fabian Pep™ in his tone when he continues. He wants this to be a positive thing for Gorgug. To show the other that things can totally be normal again. That Gorgug can invite him over and have it all be totally normal. ] If you have something you want to show me, then I want to see it! Should I come over right now?
Edited 2024-11-16 18:27 (UTC)
[ He doesn't think deeply--or at all--on Fabian not taking the star off in turn. He doesn't want to, and that's okay--and Gorgug doesn't actually know what the stars look like, or if they're interesting to begin with (maybe he should check them out tonight?). ]
You can come over whenever you want. I'm not going anywhere, so-- you take your time. I've got other stuff I can do.
[ No pressure, or that's what he's aiming for, his tone reassuring at the end. Fabian's the kind of guy who would usually be busy with a hundred things, or make himself so. And while that hasn't be completely true since they've left Spyre, Gorgug doesn't want Fabian dropping anything for him.
Bros before hos named Gorgug. Said ho looks at ease over the video call, not flustered or panicked.
Not even hos who suggest star gazing out of nowhere. ]
You can come over whenever you want. I'm not going anywhere, so-- you take your time. I've got other stuff I can do.
[ No pressure, or that's what he's aiming for, his tone reassuring at the end. Fabian's the kind of guy who would usually be busy with a hundred things, or make himself so. And while that hasn't be completely true since they've left Spyre, Gorgug doesn't want Fabian dropping anything for him.
Bros before hos named Gorgug. Said ho looks at ease over the video call, not flustered or panicked.
Not even hos who suggest star gazing out of nowhere. ]
Did she ever come onto you?
The look Krouse gives Fabian is a very obvious, goggle-eyed no, which dissolves into a wincing grimace of brand new, never before experienced confusion as his brain then starts tacking on - not caveats, exactly. Because the answer is no. Noelle didn't even come onto him when she was less frustrated with his entire existence, let alone when she was angry with him.
That's not really the question that tangles Krouse up for a second in his own shit before he wraps his brain around the real thing that's going to slap him upside the head any minute now. The weird thing that gets Krouse for a second is imagining if Noelle had, hypothetically, ever come onto him while she was mad -
It would have been awful. Unbelievably fucking awful. He'd have felt sick about it. But for one half-drunk, supremely teenaged moment, Krouse just - thinks about it a little.
"No," he says, mouth moving right as the implication that really matters side swipes him like a semi and mercifully removes all thoughts involving his own personal life clean out of his skull, "No, she never - hang on - "
Krouse stares at Fabian, his mouth falling open as he blinks, really taking it all in. The hunkered down confusion, the tinge of befuddled confusion, the general air of fuck, dude, and oh, holy shit.
"Gorgug came onto you," Krouse says, not a question, "While he was...huh."
Krouse decides now is a great time for another drink. Out of a respect for someone's privacy, or the concept of privacy in general, he tilts Noelle's picture away from Fabian so she's not looking at him.
"Are you," Krouse says, as certain select images play behind his eyes, "Let me rephrase that. What, ah - exactly did he do? Precisely?"
The look Krouse gives Fabian is a very obvious, goggle-eyed no, which dissolves into a wincing grimace of brand new, never before experienced confusion as his brain then starts tacking on - not caveats, exactly. Because the answer is no. Noelle didn't even come onto him when she was less frustrated with his entire existence, let alone when she was angry with him.
That's not really the question that tangles Krouse up for a second in his own shit before he wraps his brain around the real thing that's going to slap him upside the head any minute now. The weird thing that gets Krouse for a second is imagining if Noelle had, hypothetically, ever come onto him while she was mad -
It would have been awful. Unbelievably fucking awful. He'd have felt sick about it. But for one half-drunk, supremely teenaged moment, Krouse just - thinks about it a little.
"No," he says, mouth moving right as the implication that really matters side swipes him like a semi and mercifully removes all thoughts involving his own personal life clean out of his skull, "No, she never - hang on - "
Krouse stares at Fabian, his mouth falling open as he blinks, really taking it all in. The hunkered down confusion, the tinge of befuddled confusion, the general air of fuck, dude, and oh, holy shit.
"Gorgug came onto you," Krouse says, not a question, "While he was...huh."
Krouse decides now is a great time for another drink. Out of a respect for someone's privacy, or the concept of privacy in general, he tilts Noelle's picture away from Fabian so she's not looking at him.
"Are you," Krouse says, as certain select images play behind his eyes, "Let me rephrase that. What, ah - exactly did he do? Precisely?"
[ Fabian seems to be trying really hard to convey something here to Gorgug without saying anything. Which, of course, is not exactly the most succesful thing in the world. Especially not when Fabian is perhaps a little too expressive, and Gorgug perhaps not expressive enough - meaning the latter is never going to catch up on what the weird hand gestures Fabian is making mean.
Please don't mind these two idiots treating the robot baby like it's something that can hear and react to everything if they speak up out loud..
At least he does seem to catch on to the fact that his friend isn't going to realize what he's trying to say here after a minute or so of gesturing, so Fabian opens his mouth to ask, still not too loud-- ]
Are you alright? You're reading like-- [ It would help if Fabian put a word to this. Gave an explanation. Remembered he knows Gorgug well enough to know the other isn't just going to pick up on vibes.
And yet-- ] You know.
[ You know! ]
Please don't mind these two idiots treating the robot baby like it's something that can hear and react to everything if they speak up out loud..
At least he does seem to catch on to the fact that his friend isn't going to realize what he's trying to say here after a minute or so of gesturing, so Fabian opens his mouth to ask, still not too loud-- ]
Are you alright? You're reading like-- [ It would help if Fabian put a word to this. Gave an explanation. Remembered he knows Gorgug well enough to know the other isn't just going to pick up on vibes.
And yet-- ] You know.
[ You know! ]
[ It is something Fabian has never had to think about.
Sure, his own mixed parentage is something that has consequences in his direct family, especially in the way his mother treats him, but it's never really been anything he's had to think about in any other sort of way. Especially when the only thing that really sets him apart from your average human is the shape of his ears.
So when Gorgug says that about his tusks, he has to blink for a moment to process it. Tape.. for them? D-Did he do that with Zelda? W-Wait, did he bite Zelda in the past?! Did they get in the way with kissing? God, wait, no, he should not be thinking about kissing--
Fabian abruptly shuts down his mind. The downside of this is that his thought just flows out of his mouth unfiltered, rather than his brain deciding maybe it's not the best idea to actually say it.
Which means he winks. Playfully. And then adds: ]
Well, we will be better prepared next time you bite me!
[ H-Haha. King? Bite him? King???
He is opting to absolutely not think about this. Zero thoughts about this right now. Zero thoughts about anything. ]
Sure, his own mixed parentage is something that has consequences in his direct family, especially in the way his mother treats him, but it's never really been anything he's had to think about in any other sort of way. Especially when the only thing that really sets him apart from your average human is the shape of his ears.
So when Gorgug says that about his tusks, he has to blink for a moment to process it. Tape.. for them? D-Did he do that with Zelda? W-Wait, did he bite Zelda in the past?! Did they get in the way with kissing? God, wait, no, he should not be thinking about kissing--
Fabian abruptly shuts down his mind. The downside of this is that his thought just flows out of his mouth unfiltered, rather than his brain deciding maybe it's not the best idea to actually say it.
Which means he winks. Playfully. And then adds: ]
Well, we will be better prepared next time you bite me!
[ H-Haha. King? Bite him? King???
He is opting to absolutely not think about this. Zero thoughts about this right now. Zero thoughts about anything. ]
[ Fabian doesn't mean anything by it.
Gorgug knows right away that Fabian means nothing by it.
But he still stares at him as he says it, wants to ask the question that's desperately pushing up his throat. You want me to do it again? It's a joke, because who would? If nothing between them happened, and it was nothing but a stupid result from his rage, which-- isn't untrue. It started that way, it came because of pride, but also became clearer it was about more than anger or ego and about the challenge Fabian was presenting to him, telling him to make him. Biting was never requested, demanded, or taunted--that was Gorgug.
And yet. You want me to do it again?
Gorgug only stares at Fabian for a couple of seconds before he ducks his head again, chuckling just to have some external reaction to that he knows he needs. But he needs to say something, actual words, when there's only one thing really bouncing around in his mind, that would match the energy Fabian's already giving him. So maybe if he starts to walk, the end of that chuckle on his lips, as he says it, then-- ]
You want me to bite you again?
[ --it can sound like nothing, while he's walking in the direction of where his axe got discarded because clearly, he's not thinking deeply about what he's saying either. He's not aware of any specific parts of his body that aren't his hands, obviously, and he's not thinking about tusks and lips and mouths.
All he has to focus on is his axe, and the best possible way to carefully pick it up to put back in its holster. ]
Gorgug knows right away that Fabian means nothing by it.
But he still stares at him as he says it, wants to ask the question that's desperately pushing up his throat. You want me to do it again? It's a joke, because who would? If nothing between them happened, and it was nothing but a stupid result from his rage, which-- isn't untrue. It started that way, it came because of pride, but also became clearer it was about more than anger or ego and about the challenge Fabian was presenting to him, telling him to make him. Biting was never requested, demanded, or taunted--that was Gorgug.
And yet. You want me to do it again?
Gorgug only stares at Fabian for a couple of seconds before he ducks his head again, chuckling just to have some external reaction to that he knows he needs. But he needs to say something, actual words, when there's only one thing really bouncing around in his mind, that would match the energy Fabian's already giving him. So maybe if he starts to walk, the end of that chuckle on his lips, as he says it, then-- ]
You want me to bite you again?
[ --it can sound like nothing, while he's walking in the direction of where his axe got discarded because clearly, he's not thinking deeply about what he's saying either. He's not aware of any specific parts of his body that aren't his hands, obviously, and he's not thinking about tusks and lips and mouths.
All he has to focus on is his axe, and the best possible way to carefully pick it up to put back in its holster. ]
[ ...
Fabian stops.
If the situation wasn't so serious, it might even have been comical. Because Fabian still was showing off there on the stairs, and Gorgug's remark hits him so out of the blue that it startles him mid-twirl, making Fabian almost fall down the few steps he's been standing on. It's only thanks to his good reflexes that he manages to catch himself in time before he just falls flat on his face on the ground - a hand shooting out to grab the rails of the stairs, pulling himself back up onto his feet before he can fully fall.
But standing up also means his facial expression is much more visible. And that means it's very obvious that Fabian is absolutely dumbfounded by what he's hearing here, staring at his friend with a wide eye for a moment.
It's true that it's not like Gorgug hasn't reacted like this before. But it's not like Fabian hasn't ran into it that often either, and he didn't expect it to suddenly emerge here and now. ]
What?
[ The word instinctively slides out of his throat before Fabian has even thought about it. Something about the way it sounds is odd. It's a little more high-pitched, it makes him sound younger, somehow. Like the surprise is so genuinely that it's dragging some of the maturity right out of him, leaving this in its wake.
Fabian opens and closes his mouth for a few moments. It looks like he isn't sure what to say, but something about him looks genuinely hurt during said moments. It might even look like he's about to cry, though Fabian blinks a few times in rapid succession to keep that from happening. Nope. Nuh-uh. He's denying himself the tears. Not now!! ]
I just-- [ He looks like he's trying to regain his usual self, some sort of better exterior that doesn't make him feel as pathetic. It partially works, but it doesn't fit entirely into place.
It's messy. Fabian can't fully make it work. ]
I just wanted us to spend some time together.
Fabian stops.
If the situation wasn't so serious, it might even have been comical. Because Fabian still was showing off there on the stairs, and Gorgug's remark hits him so out of the blue that it startles him mid-twirl, making Fabian almost fall down the few steps he's been standing on. It's only thanks to his good reflexes that he manages to catch himself in time before he just falls flat on his face on the ground - a hand shooting out to grab the rails of the stairs, pulling himself back up onto his feet before he can fully fall.
But standing up also means his facial expression is much more visible. And that means it's very obvious that Fabian is absolutely dumbfounded by what he's hearing here, staring at his friend with a wide eye for a moment.
It's true that it's not like Gorgug hasn't reacted like this before. But it's not like Fabian hasn't ran into it that often either, and he didn't expect it to suddenly emerge here and now. ]
What?
[ The word instinctively slides out of his throat before Fabian has even thought about it. Something about the way it sounds is odd. It's a little more high-pitched, it makes him sound younger, somehow. Like the surprise is so genuinely that it's dragging some of the maturity right out of him, leaving this in its wake.
Fabian opens and closes his mouth for a few moments. It looks like he isn't sure what to say, but something about him looks genuinely hurt during said moments. It might even look like he's about to cry, though Fabian blinks a few times in rapid succession to keep that from happening. Nope. Nuh-uh. He's denying himself the tears. Not now!! ]
I just-- [ He looks like he's trying to regain his usual self, some sort of better exterior that doesn't make him feel as pathetic. It partially works, but it doesn't fit entirely into place.
It's messy. Fabian can't fully make it work. ]
I just wanted us to spend some time together.
[ Can't it hear them, Fabian??? Isn't it judging them every second of their lives?
Which is why Gorgug doesn't mind whispering, since they're trying to lull the baby to sleep, and not with conversation that detracts from its bedtime story (would it notice? would it care?). But that, apparently, is not going to continue as Fabian turns up the volume a little more, to-- ...absolutely nothing of help. He's being paused from the storybook, staring at Fabian like he's got something on his face: puzzled, bewildered. ]
Like-- what? [ What??? ] It's a baby book. It's-- [ now he's making a gesture with one hand, circling around as he tries to find the right word (with a pinch of consideration to the baby, before--): ] --dumb.
[ Babies are dumb, Fabian! Does he need to show you the book? Hold it up so you can see the pages and the big, simple text? He can! He will!! ]
Which is why Gorgug doesn't mind whispering, since they're trying to lull the baby to sleep, and not with conversation that detracts from its bedtime story (would it notice? would it care?). But that, apparently, is not going to continue as Fabian turns up the volume a little more, to-- ...absolutely nothing of help. He's being paused from the storybook, staring at Fabian like he's got something on his face: puzzled, bewildered. ]
Like-- what? [ What??? ] It's a baby book. It's-- [ now he's making a gesture with one hand, circling around as he tries to find the right word (with a pinch of consideration to the baby, before--): ] --dumb.
[ Babies are dumb, Fabian! Does he need to show you the book? Hold it up so you can see the pages and the big, simple text? He can! He will!! ]
[ It's Gorgug, Fabian thinks.
It immediately makes any other words die in his throat before he can spit them out like the ones before. Most of the time he's been pretty convinced it was mostly the thing inside of Gorgug talking to him, twisting Gorgug's feelings into pretzels. Sometimes it was a little more ambiguous. But this-- This is the first time he thinks it's been just Gorgug. It doesn't even sound like it's something trying to manipulate him. It's just his friend, for the first time in what feels like maybe a whole month.
His heart beats quicker with adrenaline at the realisation that Gorgug is still in there, still capable of coming out, even if it's just for a moment or this desperately. And then his heart beats even quicker when he hears what Gorgug even says. It wants to--
I'd hurt you if you told me to. I'd fuck you if you said yes.
The words echo back into his mind. He thinks about Gorgug's lips crashing onto his own only a moment ago, and something inside of Fabian moves, twists, somehow makes giving in seem so tempting, and--
No, he knows this isn't the time to think about it. He knows the thing inside of him isn't him, and-- god, he has to get it out. He has to hurry and let someone get it out before he loses his mind too. He has to get away from here and over to where people are, he has to get away from Gorgug before the other does something they might both feel terrible about later.
It's hard though. It's hard because Fabian doesn't know for how much longer Gorgug can fight it to let him go. Fabian doesn't know for how long he can fight the weird feeling spreading inside of him, making all sorts of thoughts appear in his mind, and he can't even tell which are actually his anymore.
(Shit-- Is this what Gorgug has been feeling like for weeks now?) ]
I'm leaving.
[ He says it with a weird tone. Like he's trying to convince someone here. Maybe himself, maybe Gorgug, but-- Someone for sure, and he's already trying to move, seeming like he's trying to get out from under Gorgug, trying to get up.
He's not thinking, he tells himself. He can't think. There's all sorts of jumbled up stuff in his mind, and there's instinct, and there's something awful, and there's something inside of him that's driving him, and just before Fabian pulls himself back up onto his feet, he uses the fist he's still got curled up into the other's shirt to pull Gorgug even closer, pressing a quick peck onto the other's lips and a near-hissed, much too hurried: ] Spring break, spring break-- I fucking believe in you!
[ There's nothing after that. Fabian gets onto his feet so quickly that it feels like he might trip over his own feet, and a second later he's leaving.
Not down the stairs, mind you. No, he's pulling open a window and jumping out onto the Hangman, waiting stories below, driving off right away.
No, Fabian also doesn't realize what just happened. If he remembers this at all after getting his own infection cut out, he might need about two to three business days to process what happened here and start screaming into his own pillow. ]
It immediately makes any other words die in his throat before he can spit them out like the ones before. Most of the time he's been pretty convinced it was mostly the thing inside of Gorgug talking to him, twisting Gorgug's feelings into pretzels. Sometimes it was a little more ambiguous. But this-- This is the first time he thinks it's been just Gorgug. It doesn't even sound like it's something trying to manipulate him. It's just his friend, for the first time in what feels like maybe a whole month.
His heart beats quicker with adrenaline at the realisation that Gorgug is still in there, still capable of coming out, even if it's just for a moment or this desperately. And then his heart beats even quicker when he hears what Gorgug even says. It wants to--
I'd hurt you if you told me to. I'd fuck you if you said yes.
The words echo back into his mind. He thinks about Gorgug's lips crashing onto his own only a moment ago, and something inside of Fabian moves, twists, somehow makes giving in seem so tempting, and--
No, he knows this isn't the time to think about it. He knows the thing inside of him isn't him, and-- god, he has to get it out. He has to hurry and let someone get it out before he loses his mind too. He has to get away from here and over to where people are, he has to get away from Gorgug before the other does something they might both feel terrible about later.
It's hard though. It's hard because Fabian doesn't know for how much longer Gorgug can fight it to let him go. Fabian doesn't know for how long he can fight the weird feeling spreading inside of him, making all sorts of thoughts appear in his mind, and he can't even tell which are actually his anymore.
(Shit-- Is this what Gorgug has been feeling like for weeks now?) ]
I'm leaving.
[ He says it with a weird tone. Like he's trying to convince someone here. Maybe himself, maybe Gorgug, but-- Someone for sure, and he's already trying to move, seeming like he's trying to get out from under Gorgug, trying to get up.
He's not thinking, he tells himself. He can't think. There's all sorts of jumbled up stuff in his mind, and there's instinct, and there's something awful, and there's something inside of him that's driving him, and just before Fabian pulls himself back up onto his feet, he uses the fist he's still got curled up into the other's shirt to pull Gorgug even closer, pressing a quick peck onto the other's lips and a near-hissed, much too hurried: ] Spring break, spring break-- I fucking believe in you!
[ There's nothing after that. Fabian gets onto his feet so quickly that it feels like he might trip over his own feet, and a second later he's leaving.
Not down the stairs, mind you. No, he's pulling open a window and jumping out onto the Hangman, waiting stories below, driving off right away.
No, Fabian also doesn't realize what just happened. If he remembers this at all after getting his own infection cut out, he might need about two to three business days to process what happened here and start screaming into his own pillow. ]
[ If it was any other situation, Fabian may have commented on the fact that the term supervillain feels incredibly cringe.
But considering the mood and considering that he is rather serious about helping both Krouse and Gorgug in this moment, Fabian doesn't, saving them a discussion that in itself would likely end up very cringe. ]
Yeah, but.. all of the things you told me you've done, we have also done where we come from. [ Arson? Check. Theft? Check. What else did Krouse sum up? Fabian isn't even sure anymore, but it's probably also on the list. If he hasn't done them, then either Gorgug or Riz surely has at this point. It's part of why Fabian hadn't been bothered by what Krouse told him back in that cell.
It's why he can't imagine Gorgug being bothered because of it. Not even in the middle of what's up with him. ]
You couldn't be a bad influence on us even if you tried.
But considering the mood and considering that he is rather serious about helping both Krouse and Gorgug in this moment, Fabian doesn't, saving them a discussion that in itself would likely end up very cringe. ]
Yeah, but.. all of the things you told me you've done, we have also done where we come from. [ Arson? Check. Theft? Check. What else did Krouse sum up? Fabian isn't even sure anymore, but it's probably also on the list. If he hasn't done them, then either Gorgug or Riz surely has at this point. It's part of why Fabian hadn't been bothered by what Krouse told him back in that cell.
It's why he can't imagine Gorgug being bothered because of it. Not even in the middle of what's up with him. ]
You couldn't be a bad influence on us even if you tried.
[ When Fabian says he's leaving, Gorgug's reaction is quick, hurried nodding that refuses to let any other thought settle or find refuge in his brain. As if it's that simple, easy to avoid; but for this time that Gorgug has his wits about him, he wants to encourage Fabian. He wants to show that Fabian's choice is alright. ]
Go, [ he says, hushed words shared between them, and he's ready at any second to move or to be pushed away while he still has a say in how his own body reacts. Even as the idea of being left alone manages to slither its way into his mind, coiling over his willpower, squeezing.
He's going to leave you. Grab his arm. Ask him to stay, you're so alone.
There is a chaotic nature to Fabian Seacaster. Loud and opinionated, carrying his own insecurities, busy working to establish himself to show the world who he is (and to know who that is himself). Every one of the Bad Kids have this nature, that makes them unpredictable even to Gorgug after all these years with them, and it's one of those things about them he's come to accept. He admires it about them. Except, regularly, it often throws him off, or sends him into a frenzy that knocks him off the same rails as them.
Which is to say: the kiss, or encouragement, is that kind of chaotic choice that keeps Gorgug's mind from focusing straight. A kiss to attract him, and then a reminder that reaches out from inside Gorgug himself, and- Spring break. Spring break. They're a year younger and they're on their way to break Adaine and Aelwyn out from their prisons, bodies on fire, never feeling as connected to one another as they did then.
Gorgug doesn't reach for Fabian's arm. He doesn't turn his body over to follow Fabian's direction, to watch him go.
Instead, from behind Fabian (and even as he jumps), a rhythmless chant follows his exit. ]
Spring break! Spring break! Spring break, spring break!
[ Gorgug keeps a hold of the hope of friendship, like a flame passed on from Fabian that blazes different inside Gorgug than his own twisted rage, for as long as he's capable of doing. It dies down eventually, becomes smothered by the fear and grief that manages takes it place, but even so--
The ember persists somewhere inside him, that Fabian and Riz will do the right thing. They'll stop this. He knows they will.
Spring break. I believe in you. ]
Go, [ he says, hushed words shared between them, and he's ready at any second to move or to be pushed away while he still has a say in how his own body reacts. Even as the idea of being left alone manages to slither its way into his mind, coiling over his willpower, squeezing.
He's going to leave you. Grab his arm. Ask him to stay, you're so alone.
There is a chaotic nature to Fabian Seacaster. Loud and opinionated, carrying his own insecurities, busy working to establish himself to show the world who he is (and to know who that is himself). Every one of the Bad Kids have this nature, that makes them unpredictable even to Gorgug after all these years with them, and it's one of those things about them he's come to accept. He admires it about them. Except, regularly, it often throws him off, or sends him into a frenzy that knocks him off the same rails as them.
Which is to say: the kiss, or encouragement, is that kind of chaotic choice that keeps Gorgug's mind from focusing straight. A kiss to attract him, and then a reminder that reaches out from inside Gorgug himself, and- Spring break. Spring break. They're a year younger and they're on their way to break Adaine and Aelwyn out from their prisons, bodies on fire, never feeling as connected to one another as they did then.
Gorgug doesn't reach for Fabian's arm. He doesn't turn his body over to follow Fabian's direction, to watch him go.
Instead, from behind Fabian (and even as he jumps), a rhythmless chant follows his exit. ]
Spring break! Spring break! Spring break, spring break!
[ Gorgug keeps a hold of the hope of friendship, like a flame passed on from Fabian that blazes different inside Gorgug than his own twisted rage, for as long as he's capable of doing. It dies down eventually, becomes smothered by the fear and grief that manages takes it place, but even so--
The ember persists somewhere inside him, that Fabian and Riz will do the right thing. They'll stop this. He knows they will.
Spring break. I believe in you. ]
Even if Noelle may not be looking at him anymore now, just Krouse looking is bad enough by itself. Especially when Fabian can just sense the entire journey the other guy's facial expression is going through. It makes him hunch over even more, like he's trying to disappear into his bottle of beer. Being eternally trapped in a bottle of beer kind of sounds like it might be easier than having to talk about all this, honestly.
Especially since he was wrong. Apparently Krouse doesn't know what this very specific thing is like. It would have been so much easier if he knew - at this point it's just going to make Fabian look like a huge freak, won't it?
It's tempting to stall. To ask him if he really wants to know. Or maybe to avoid the topic entirely, say he doesn't want to talk about it.
But that's just delaying the inevitable, right? Fabian has been thinking about this so much that the only way to get rid of these thoughts at this point is just to talk about it, even if it makes him feel awful before he's even uttered a single word.
"He--" Fabian swallows hard even after just one word. He's so very, very decidedly still not looking at Krouse. "He told me that he thinks about me at night. And then that-- that, uh, he'd hurt me or fuck me if I wanted him to."
That's propositioning someone, alright. Even though it doesn't seem like Fabian is done even with just that.
"And he held me down, and he started to kiss me, and I.."
.. god, should he say it? Krouse won't get it. Sure, he liked Noelle, but it doesn't sound like it ever had anything to do with a mess like this.
Ugh, wait, okay, hold on, he can still make this--
"I mean, I-- It turned me on, you know?" See, that's the hard part to say, but that's why Fabian immediately launches into the next words. "But it's just.. That was the adrenaline, right? I mean, I'm not gay, so-- you know, I just--"
He's now looking up at Krouse, but mostly because he's lost in the half-panic of his explanation. Like he has to convince the other of something here, and Fabian isn't even sure what specific thing it is that he's trying to convince his friend of.
"I don't know, shit happens!"
Especially since he was wrong. Apparently Krouse doesn't know what this very specific thing is like. It would have been so much easier if he knew - at this point it's just going to make Fabian look like a huge freak, won't it?
It's tempting to stall. To ask him if he really wants to know. Or maybe to avoid the topic entirely, say he doesn't want to talk about it.
But that's just delaying the inevitable, right? Fabian has been thinking about this so much that the only way to get rid of these thoughts at this point is just to talk about it, even if it makes him feel awful before he's even uttered a single word.
"He--" Fabian swallows hard even after just one word. He's so very, very decidedly still not looking at Krouse. "He told me that he thinks about me at night. And then that-- that, uh, he'd hurt me or fuck me if I wanted him to."
That's propositioning someone, alright. Even though it doesn't seem like Fabian is done even with just that.
"And he held me down, and he started to kiss me, and I.."
.. god, should he say it? Krouse won't get it. Sure, he liked Noelle, but it doesn't sound like it ever had anything to do with a mess like this.
Ugh, wait, okay, hold on, he can still make this--
"I mean, I-- It turned me on, you know?" See, that's the hard part to say, but that's why Fabian immediately launches into the next words. "But it's just.. That was the adrenaline, right? I mean, I'm not gay, so-- you know, I just--"
He's now looking up at Krouse, but mostly because he's lost in the half-panic of his explanation. Like he has to convince the other of something here, and Fabian isn't even sure what specific thing it is that he's trying to convince his friend of.
"I don't know, shit happens!"
[ It's too bad Fabian hasn't gotten within eyeballing range yet, because Krouse's arm flung over his forehead is one for the books in terms of exhausted gesturing. ]
Okay. Maybe he's worried I'll just fuck up your lives or get you shot. Or shoot you. Does it matter? I don't care, man, this isn't - Jesus.
[ At least Fabian knows who that is now, sort of. Krouse takes a hard drag on his cigarette and exhales through his nose, hoodie sleeve pressed to his clammy face. ]
Maybe he thinks I have a shitty haircut and I'll ruin your Class of Whatever The Fuck Year This Is group photo in the yearbook. Why not.
Okay. Maybe he's worried I'll just fuck up your lives or get you shot. Or shoot you. Does it matter? I don't care, man, this isn't - Jesus.
[ At least Fabian knows who that is now, sort of. Krouse takes a hard drag on his cigarette and exhales through his nose, hoodie sleeve pressed to his clammy face. ]
Maybe he thinks I have a shitty haircut and I'll ruin your Class of Whatever The Fuck Year This Is group photo in the yearbook. Why not.
Krouse lifts Noelle's picture off his lap and gingerly sets it face down on the coffee table, meticulously not looking at Fabian as Krouse takes in all of that. He feels like someone just handed him one of those AI babies from Moorecroft, except this one is also a bomb, and he is now apparently partially entrusted with defusing this complicated bomb-baby-thing that's both hideously fragile and even more hideously volatile.
But this time, he's not hoping he can pitch the bomb-baby-convoluted metaphor out the window and replace it with a substitute egg from the grocery store. He's going to be responsible with it. Real fucking responsible.
"I mean," Krouse says, swivelling towards Fabian with an internal experience of somehow doing it in slow motion, at a distance, "It'd be fine. If you were. Or just, you know. Open-minded."
That is, in a revelation that would have startled Krouse at sixteen and doesn't make him do more than blink once at nineteen, the least of what's going on here.
"Or, uh - okay. Fuck. Let me just," Krouse scrubs his face with one hand, making a low humming noise in the back of his throat like a modem trying to dial up a connection to his own brain. "Are you, like, okay, man?"
Krouse pivots properly on the couch, pulling his leg up to tuck his socked foot against his knee as he takes Fabian's posture in. Hesitantly, he reaches out to give Fabian an awkward part on the shoulder, feeling like the multiverse's biggest tool as he does it.
"I mean, though, hey - who among us has not had a weird hard-on at a really fucked up time?" He posits, and yeah, he's going to blow up this imaginary metaphor baby for sure. Fuck.
But this time, he's not hoping he can pitch the bomb-baby-convoluted metaphor out the window and replace it with a substitute egg from the grocery store. He's going to be responsible with it. Real fucking responsible.
"I mean," Krouse says, swivelling towards Fabian with an internal experience of somehow doing it in slow motion, at a distance, "It'd be fine. If you were. Or just, you know. Open-minded."
That is, in a revelation that would have startled Krouse at sixteen and doesn't make him do more than blink once at nineteen, the least of what's going on here.
"Or, uh - okay. Fuck. Let me just," Krouse scrubs his face with one hand, making a low humming noise in the back of his throat like a modem trying to dial up a connection to his own brain. "Are you, like, okay, man?"
Krouse pivots properly on the couch, pulling his leg up to tuck his socked foot against his knee as he takes Fabian's posture in. Hesitantly, he reaches out to give Fabian an awkward part on the shoulder, feeling like the multiverse's biggest tool as he does it.
"I mean, though, hey - who among us has not had a weird hard-on at a really fucked up time?" He posits, and yeah, he's going to blow up this imaginary metaphor baby for sure. Fuck.
Edited 2024-11-21 08:11 (UTC)
[ Fabian does reach out for the parts of the ripped battle sheet that Gorgug is holding. Not even necessarily because he doesn't trust the other with them - though honestly, who knows if they'll manage to make it through these woods without either of them getting affected again, Fabian isn't so sure they will - but mostly because he wants to make sure to keep all the pieces together. He opens the bag they were planning to use for the groceries, putting all the pieces in there together.
He even looks around them for a moment, just to make sure they aren't accidentally leaving a piece behind. The battle sheet is just that important to him! Riz made it for him, and Fabian is never one to ignore a gesture from a friend like that.
So it's only when he seems absolutely sure that there's nothing left on the ground that he turns back to Gorgug. ]
It's fine. [ He says - and though it doesn't sound like a lie, it's not quite as warmly reassuring as Fabian can be, most of the time. That bit of spirit is still missing for now.
Even as he turns to start walking again. ]
It's not you. It's this dumb place.
He even looks around them for a moment, just to make sure they aren't accidentally leaving a piece behind. The battle sheet is just that important to him! Riz made it for him, and Fabian is never one to ignore a gesture from a friend like that.
So it's only when he seems absolutely sure that there's nothing left on the ground that he turns back to Gorgug. ]
It's fine. [ He says - and though it doesn't sound like a lie, it's not quite as warmly reassuring as Fabian can be, most of the time. That bit of spirit is still missing for now.
Even as he turns to start walking again. ]
It's not you. It's this dumb place.
[ Fabian huffs, trying his best to make it just as dramatic as his usual sounds. He knows he doesn't seem quite like himself when he isn't being busy being loud, after all. ]
I suppose I can clear my busy, busy schedule to come over.
[ The tone is just light enough that he's hoping Gorgug will easily catch onto the fact that Fabian is just being dramatic, because the last thing he wants right now is for the other to suddenly feel like he has to retract the invitation because of it.
Gorgug may seem relatively calm now - especially by the standards of the last few weeks - but you never know. Fabian is still pretty worried there's something much more easily bruised underneath it.
Maybe it's why he's not thinking too hard about the stars thing anymore. There's been enough to worry about that the worries about the more gay thoughts are often reserved for when Gorgug isn't around, or when Fabian isn't talking to him. ]
So I will come over right now. I will drive the Hangman there, so-- I will be there shortly. Wait for me, alright?
[ And Fabian seems to be a man of his word. It really doesn't take too long before the infernal revving of the Hangman can be heard from outside of the lab, with Fabian wandering in a moment later. ]
I suppose I can clear my busy, busy schedule to come over.
[ The tone is just light enough that he's hoping Gorgug will easily catch onto the fact that Fabian is just being dramatic, because the last thing he wants right now is for the other to suddenly feel like he has to retract the invitation because of it.
Gorgug may seem relatively calm now - especially by the standards of the last few weeks - but you never know. Fabian is still pretty worried there's something much more easily bruised underneath it.
Maybe it's why he's not thinking too hard about the stars thing anymore. There's been enough to worry about that the worries about the more gay thoughts are often reserved for when Gorgug isn't around, or when Fabian isn't talking to him. ]
So I will come over right now. I will drive the Hangman there, so-- I will be there shortly. Wait for me, alright?
[ And Fabian seems to be a man of his word. It really doesn't take too long before the infernal revving of the Hangman can be heard from outside of the lab, with Fabian wandering in a moment later. ]
[ Fortunately, Gorgug takes it the right way (the way Fabian means it), even showing a flicker of a small smile across the screen of the video feed.
And it does stick to the corners of his mouth when he speaks up to say- ]
Okay, alright. Thanks.
[ He would add a joke himself, but if he's lacking on the regular on being smarmy in a friendly way, he's moreso when it comes to the mood he's still in (and recovering from). But he's appreciative all the same as he turns off their video call, and makes the preparations for Fabian's arrival.
Nothing's different from the usual about the interior, except Gorgug has more mess around on the tables since the race that took place--more projects, that he actually seems to be working on, as opposed to the fish shapes before that were all organised in their progress. Gorgug's sitting on a swivel chair by a table that's close to the entrance of the lab, a flexible light shining above, and a few tools. As well as... ]
'Sup. [ Gorgug swivels the chair a few inches to regard Fabian, and then picks up something to hold out to him. Unlike in the picture, there's an eyepatched skull with what acts like a ribbon (or fancy cloth) winding around the bracelet. ] Can you try this on? It's got a buckle... it should fit.
[ Hopefully. It's a bracelet, bro. ]
And it does stick to the corners of his mouth when he speaks up to say- ]
Okay, alright. Thanks.
[ He would add a joke himself, but if he's lacking on the regular on being smarmy in a friendly way, he's moreso when it comes to the mood he's still in (and recovering from). But he's appreciative all the same as he turns off their video call, and makes the preparations for Fabian's arrival.
Nothing's different from the usual about the interior, except Gorgug has more mess around on the tables since the race that took place--more projects, that he actually seems to be working on, as opposed to the fish shapes before that were all organised in their progress. Gorgug's sitting on a swivel chair by a table that's close to the entrance of the lab, a flexible light shining above, and a few tools. As well as... ]
'Sup. [ Gorgug swivels the chair a few inches to regard Fabian, and then picks up something to hold out to him. Unlike in the picture, there's an eyepatched skull with what acts like a ribbon (or fancy cloth) winding around the bracelet. ] Can you try this on? It's got a buckle... it should fit.
[ Hopefully. It's a bracelet, bro. ]
He's not saying anything because it's a good name, [ Riz shoots back, prodding Fabian in the side just in case he isn't already annoying enough. It's a nice benefit to being more secure in their friendship these days; if he hasn't annoyed Fabian away yet, then he probably never will.
(Probably.) ]
What's wrong with the word 'lad'? It's not that different from boy. It means the exact same thing. [ He considers that the word has been tainted by its proximity to Gilear. He taps his chin. ] It's not like Gilear took the name for himself. Fig coined it.
[ And Fig is cool, right? Ergo... ]
Besides, I haven't uh, gotten to the Bardy Boys thing yet, timeline-wise, but I dunno if Fig would appreciate being left out of it. You come up with one, then.
(Probably.) ]
What's wrong with the word 'lad'? It's not that different from boy. It means the exact same thing. [ He considers that the word has been tainted by its proximity to Gilear. He taps his chin. ] It's not like Gilear took the name for himself. Fig coined it.
[ And Fig is cool, right? Ergo... ]
Besides, I haven't uh, gotten to the Bardy Boys thing yet, timeline-wise, but I dunno if Fig would appreciate being left out of it. You come up with one, then.
[ Zero thoughts. Zero thoughts. Zero thoughts!!
If anything, Fabian's brain is currently doubling down on that idea. There's something about those words that threatens to set off an alarm in his mind, but as if to anticipate that and prevent it from happening - because Fabian's brainspace would turn into a total jumbled mess if that alarm did go off - his brain absolutely makes zero no thoughts emerge. Nothing at all.
It's why he just replies, his back turned towards Gorgug with the direction he's walking in and one hand dismissively waved in the air-- ]
If you want to!
[ A reply that likely does not help. But again. Zero thoughts. Zero thoughts!!!
So much zero thoughts going on that Fabian looks entirely casual despite the words he just said when he turns around to look at Gorgug picking up that axe. ]
Are you ready now? We should hurry back!
[ I hope you aren't busy imagining what's going on in Fabian's head right now, Gorgug. Especially with those words from a second ago. It's zero thoughts, that's what it is. His brain will likely punish him for this by overthinking it later, but Fabian is - thankfully for current Fabian, a little less thankfully for future Fabian - at the moment saving himself from any of that. ]
If anything, Fabian's brain is currently doubling down on that idea. There's something about those words that threatens to set off an alarm in his mind, but as if to anticipate that and prevent it from happening - because Fabian's brainspace would turn into a total jumbled mess if that alarm did go off - his brain absolutely makes zero no thoughts emerge. Nothing at all.
It's why he just replies, his back turned towards Gorgug with the direction he's walking in and one hand dismissively waved in the air-- ]
If you want to!
[ A reply that likely does not help. But again. Zero thoughts. Zero thoughts!!!
So much zero thoughts going on that Fabian looks entirely casual despite the words he just said when he turns around to look at Gorgug picking up that axe. ]
Are you ready now? We should hurry back!
[ I hope you aren't busy imagining what's going on in Fabian's head right now, Gorgug. Especially with those words from a second ago. It's zero thoughts, that's what it is. His brain will likely punish him for this by overthinking it later, but Fabian is - thankfully for current Fabian, a little less thankfully for future Fabian - at the moment saving himself from any of that. ]
It's a performance, Gorgug!
[ Despite the way Fabian's voice is pretty insistent, he is still keeping the volume down. Relatively speaking. It makes his voice just above a whisper, but with that same hissing quality to it, considering the lack of volume. ]
The baby isn't going to sleep if the story isn't interesting enough! [ It's likely this is not an actual parental lesson Fabian knows.
It's much more likely it's just that the half-elf figures. Especially when he wouldn't like a boring story. Despite not being a baby, which would technically put him in no position to judge the quality of stories for babies.. ]
[ Despite the way Fabian's voice is pretty insistent, he is still keeping the volume down. Relatively speaking. It makes his voice just above a whisper, but with that same hissing quality to it, considering the lack of volume. ]
The baby isn't going to sleep if the story isn't interesting enough! [ It's likely this is not an actual parental lesson Fabian knows.
It's much more likely it's just that the half-elf figures. Especially when he wouldn't like a boring story. Despite not being a baby, which would technically put him in no position to judge the quality of stories for babies.. ]
[ There's a weight he can't get off his chest, a guilt that feels too heavy for what he's otherwise telling himself it should be. It wasn't him, it's this dumb place; Gorgug knows it should be true, but there's a tickling in the back of his head, an Is it? that makes him doubtful as he stands there, hands empty. ]
Should we go now? If I look at the ground... [ and he does so, as an example, ] --I can't see anything weird. Nothing can spook me.
[ He's being sincere, as silly as it might seem. But they have to keep going, right? And what if it's going to happen again? Gorgug can't shake off that feeling, either. Won't it just come back? Trick them again? ]
Should we go now? If I look at the ground... [ and he does so, as an example, ] --I can't see anything weird. Nothing can spook me.
[ He's being sincere, as silly as it might seem. But they have to keep going, right? And what if it's going to happen again? Gorgug can't shake off that feeling, either. Won't it just come back? Trick them again? ]
[ Gorgug, for a moment, is looking at Fabian with the same baffled expression he was wearing previous. As he shares this knowledge, only--it's stunned. Like this is some kind of new information that Fabian is imparting onto him, and Gorgug looks back down at the book, held the wrong way for him to actually see more than the spine. ]
...
[ ...and he holds it out to his dramatic friend, his thumb keeping it open on the page it's on. ]
You read it.
[ It's not even bitter or challenging. It's just. So simple.
There is an issue here, and Fabian knows how to fix it. Therefore...
Have fun, dad. ]
...
[ ...and he holds it out to his dramatic friend, his thumb keeping it open on the page it's on. ]
You read it.
[ It's not even bitter or challenging. It's just. So simple.
There is an issue here, and Fabian knows how to fix it. Therefore...
Have fun, dad. ]
[ Only a moment after Krouse has spoken that last word, there is the sound of a motorcycle nearby, instead of just over their connection - and when the feed cuts, it even visibly approaches Krouse's position, until the bike stops right in front of where the guy is sprawled out.
Fabian is sitting on top of the motorcycle. (And yes, the bike does have a weird skull and crossbones motif on the front, but-- don't mind it, bro. Don't think about it too hard.) There's a grin on Fabian's face, but there's a tenseness in his shoulders that betrays he isn't totally casual here, despite him saying: ]
Well, it's true that you aren't as handsome as I am. [ He's teasing, okay.
Though it's also true. In his opinion. ]
You okay, man?
Fabian is sitting on top of the motorcycle. (And yes, the bike does have a weird skull and crossbones motif on the front, but-- don't mind it, bro. Don't think about it too hard.) There's a grin on Fabian's face, but there's a tenseness in his shoulders that betrays he isn't totally casual here, despite him saying: ]
Well, it's true that you aren't as handsome as I am. [ He's teasing, okay.
Though it's also true. In his opinion. ]
You okay, man?
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine."
Said by a guy who clearly looks like he's not doing fine at all right now. It's not even just looking, but sounding too, considering it's reflected just as much in his voice when he says that.
He doesn't scoot away though when Krouse joins him on the couch. He even allows the awkward pat, though he doesn't really seem to reciprocate it in any way. Maybe it's since he's too busy thinking if he's ever really had a hard-on during an awkward moment before. Maybe. Probably.
Though never at a moment as awkward as when your possessed friend is trying to proposition you, clearly.
"I just-- I need to figure this out, man." Understatement of the century, but Fabian just raises his bottle to chug some more beer after he says it, like that might help him think about this any better.
At least it's helping him be open about this to Krouse at all. Fabian might have hesitated otherwise, even in front of someone who is - clearly - a bro.
"I thought you could relate."
But maybe he was wrong about that. The idea of being wrong about it does make him look a little miserable, even if he's staring right ahead of him, rather than sideways and over at the other guy.
Said by a guy who clearly looks like he's not doing fine at all right now. It's not even just looking, but sounding too, considering it's reflected just as much in his voice when he says that.
He doesn't scoot away though when Krouse joins him on the couch. He even allows the awkward pat, though he doesn't really seem to reciprocate it in any way. Maybe it's since he's too busy thinking if he's ever really had a hard-on during an awkward moment before. Maybe. Probably.
Though never at a moment as awkward as when your possessed friend is trying to proposition you, clearly.
"I just-- I need to figure this out, man." Understatement of the century, but Fabian just raises his bottle to chug some more beer after he says it, like that might help him think about this any better.
At least it's helping him be open about this to Krouse at all. Fabian might have hesitated otherwise, even in front of someone who is - clearly - a bro.
"I thought you could relate."
But maybe he was wrong about that. The idea of being wrong about it does make him look a little miserable, even if he's staring right ahead of him, rather than sideways and over at the other guy.
[ .. wait, what? Sorry?
Fabian knows that Gorgug asked him a question, but it's completely gone from his mind by the time the other finishes what he's saying. That 'sup' is gone now, lost into the nether, because Fabian is just staring at the bracelet the other is holding out for him. It would have been easy to dismiss as just some project Gorgug is working on that he'd need a tester for, but..
Well. The decoration on the bracelet is rather distinct. Not a whole lot of people in this place who have the same theme going on as the bracelet itself. And though Fabian does hold out his arm towards the other - sorry, Gorgug, seems like Fabian's surprised mind can't quite process the 'try this on' part as in him having to try it on himself, maybe you should just put it on him - he's looking absolutely baffled. So confused. ]
What's this?
Fabian knows that Gorgug asked him a question, but it's completely gone from his mind by the time the other finishes what he's saying. That 'sup' is gone now, lost into the nether, because Fabian is just staring at the bracelet the other is holding out for him. It would have been easy to dismiss as just some project Gorgug is working on that he'd need a tester for, but..
Well. The decoration on the bracelet is rather distinct. Not a whole lot of people in this place who have the same theme going on as the bracelet itself. And though Fabian does hold out his arm towards the other - sorry, Gorgug, seems like Fabian's surprised mind can't quite process the 'try this on' part as in him having to try it on himself, maybe you should just put it on him - he's looking absolutely baffled. So confused. ]
What's this?
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