maximumlegend: (wager all you've got)
fabian aramais seacaster ([personal profile] maximumlegend) wrote2024-04-26 08:23 pm

etraya ic inbox.



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You have reached a MAXIMUM LEGEND!
tinflower: (pic#17247230)

[personal profile] tinflower 2024-10-27 08:38 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Gorgug tastes Fabian's fear on the back of his throat.

It's a different kind of fear from any that's come before it. There's no disgust where there should be, though Gorgug isn't of the correct mind to be surprised by that in a rational way. He notes better what he can sense, or the part of him that seeks out those unwanted emotions in others, the things they want to hide. It's not the right environment for him to sense every nuance better, but he knows what Fabian wants: it's exactly what he said.

For Gorgug to stop.

And Gorgug can't stop.

Because that taste makes him looks up after letting the emotion wash into him, and he wants it again--a craving that's been piqued. Reminded. Alerted. He's looking at Fabian directly, wanting him to feel the weight of his gaze on him enough to make him uncomfortable, to make his own brain his enemy; before he asks him, the fingers of the hand against his back slipping to the rim of his pants. ]


...Do you want to?

[ And maybe, if Fabian dares to look down--if he's somehow continued to look at Gorgug, he'll find Gorgug doing the exact thing he wouldn't have wanted him to do, and to look towards his crotch. Just as he rolls in his lips to lick his tongue over them, a quick motion. ]

Just tell me, [ he offers, voice softer. Giving Fabian a push, an excuse to do it. Doesn't he?

But if Fabian thinks to do something like pull away, he'll find that he won't be able to--not with the arm around his waist that will grab on tighter, and the hand on his that won't let go.

There will be a consequence for trying to escape--for chickening out. Fabian isn't that heavy for a guy like Gorgug, after all. ]
tinflower: (pic#17331255)

[personal profile] tinflower 2024-10-27 10:52 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Fabian may move one hand, but the one held, it can lift, but it won't reach Gorgug's shoulder--he won't let it, holding it on tighter with the movement that Fabian tries to take in withdrawing from him, and Gorgug won't. He doesn't want him to leave; he shouldn't leave, because he wants to. There's a darkness in his chest that wants this to turn ugly, to break Fabian--isn't that what he wants? Isn't that what he wanted with Riz, before it went all wrong?

There's no longer that muted barrier containing it so well, from letting his emotions dip to wherever they'll be led.

He acts without thinking, because he rarely has to, these days: he grips into the material of Fabian's pants as he yanks the other boy by his arm, dragging him to topple down on the ground in front of him without complete consideration of if he'll accidentally make him face plant. Gorgug's aiming for him landing on his side, but it's not every day he does this.

But it doesn't matter, really. Even if Fabian does land sideways, Gorgug needs to be quick to pin him, and doing so by a hand slamming down on the back of his shoulder. Just long enough to give him time to rearrange his own limbs, pushing a knee in to get between Fabian's legs before he tugs Fabian onto his back. He doesn't want to get kneed in the junk, see--he's learned other lessons from the spar than just what he likes.

It's like this that he stares down at Fabian, at his face. He's pushed a forearm against his chest, and his eyes still have the quality where they don't seem entirely focused, or too intense--too unlike Gorgug. His lips are parted, and he's breathing a little heavier.

There's something about him that's hesitating--something that he's not doing, when he could be doing something. Could be saying something.

Fabian has a chance to speak first. ]
tinflower: (pic#17331296)

[personal profile] tinflower 2024-11-02 03:20 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He looks at the fist; where it sits mid-swing, stopped where it is. Gorgug's eyes scan sideways, body not moving, not reacting to its presence. But his eyes close, he takes in a quiet breath through his nostrils, and there's an acceptance over him that he can experience. There's no fear over what he's doing (what he could be doing); and it's not to say that there isn't fear there, but it's turned towards sadness. Exhaustion. Crippling, crumbling towards defeat. Where you want to lay down and let someone take over, because you feel there's no better answer in yourself.

Isn't that exactly what Gorgug's doing?

And can't Fabian be his someone else?

He doesn't have to fight, something whispers in him. There, pushing against his brain, a freedom anyone should offer a friend they care about. Tantalising, and yet Gorgug gets it, Gorgug understands that deep sadness resonating from Fabian and into him. The confusion, the weariness; the desire to stop fighting, even when they can't. He squeezes his eyes to stay shut, and it isn't the first time they've been like this--close, with Gorgug above him, trying to chase away the demons. ]


I can't fight it, [ he whispers, voice hushed and quick. ] It makes me mad if I do. I can't do anything.

[ A beat. ] I don't have anything else.

[ He can't fight it. The loneliness in him, and the parts of Fabian that he can make feel better--can't he? It washes in, pressing against his being, and Gorgug lowers his head and brings his mouth to Fabian's neck. He moves the hand that was holding up his weight to around the side of Fabian's head, to help his angle as he sinks his lips there against his skin; trailing his mouth up, and letting his tongue skim along the artery that leads up to his ear.

It's wanting, it's desperate; it's a trembling journey. His mouth parts, and he doesn't know how much control he has over himself anymore, if he ever did, as he brings himself over to Fabian's lips with his, and he kisses him--he forces a kiss, pushing his tongue against teeth, biting on Fabian's lip hard if he has to. All to get entry into his mouth, so the darkness waiting in there can move forward.

So Gorgug can have his punishment for wanting Fabian with him in the first place--for letting the real pieces of him sneak out, to try and find someone to help him to begin with.

No one will want him now. ]
tinflower: (pic#17331294)

[personal profile] tinflower 2024-11-07 03:43 pm (UTC)(link)
[ There's a haze over Gorgug, and even with every terrible thing that he's already done, what he's doing now twists at the pit of his stomach something awful. The parts of him that enjoys it, the part of him that knows that it's wrong: he indulged in the contradiction during each test that he found himself drawn to. Telling Krouse that he deserved to rot in a jail of his own guilt, shouting and screaming at Rosie that she was nothing but a fraud who earned what happened to her. And now he's here, pressing his body against Fabian's, his tongue reaching in for his, the taste of intimacy making him want to search deeper and deeper for more.

And he's infecting him. He's making him as bad as him.

What's the point? Fighting it, being anything else than some figure of himself he never knew, but was always detested for belonging in the shadow of: his heritage as part orc, chastised for years by peers for not standing up for himself, chasing away relatives for daring to be born. He hates it: these ghosts he never asked for now haunting him here, being told to seek his anger and now, he can't control it. Every little thing going wrong, and it would be better just to give in. To be nothing.

To wait for someone to take him out.

And then Fabian thrashes.

His body writhes under his, he hits against him, twists, pushes forward their faces, and there's an instance where Gorgug pushes back. He grabs into Fabian's hair to control him and pushes his own face down, refuses to give him room to move; his lips seeking to bruise at Fabian's, a growl sounding from his throat. A leg up against Fabian's crotch, intention there that may still be too rough, that may be difficult to know if he means to threaten, or to take this somewhere else: the same place he's been offering for this encounter to go for a while. He breaks apart their kiss to lick his tongue flat across the soft texture of Fabian's lips, his breath starting to heave, a growing excitement building in his already trembling limbs.

Fingers dig harder into Fabian's scalp, and there's another sound from deep inside Gorgug's throat as his eyes again are screwed up tight. He grits his teeth, and then slides the hand holding the top of Fabian's head onto the floor, slipping it inch by inch from him, trying to crawl away.

As he tries to do the same with the arm across Fabian's chest to pinning him, his weight loosening above him. Saliva wets around his mouth, but there's a glint around his eyes, too, small grunts that begin to sound like small sobs trapped in his throat.

He can't. He can't give up if it means hurting Fabian; he can't give up if he's going to do something like this. He can't, he finds himself managing for this moment, in this instance. But it's hard to fight, when everything that tells him this is wrong makes it feel right, too.

And didn't he want to not be alone? Hasn't he felt alone all this time? When there's only one voice he hears anymore coming from inside him, telling him that this is the way it's going to be.

He's so despicable anyway. Who is he trying to fall by backing out now?

Why not take it as far as he possibly can--? ]
tinflower: (pic#17441936)

[personal profile] tinflower 2024-11-12 07:08 pm (UTC)(link)
[ All he needs to do is to get away from Fabian--that's what Gorgug thinks. If he moves away, he can contain himself, and then Fabian can escape and get as far away from him as he can, as he should. Even if there's some small part of him that desperately clings to their friendship; even as his brain tells him that it's being broken apart right now, will be, if he just gives in and does what he wants. And it is what he wants, isn't it?

--He's being pulled back. Not by the source he expects it to be, the tug from his shirt confusing. Is it stuck? But he can't figure how, and Gorgug opens his eyes to look, finding Fabian glaring right back at him with his one good eye, the fist balled with his clothing.

Tears blur his eyesight, but he can still see the way Fabian looks at him, hears it in the fire in his voice. Gorgug's limbs tremble, everything in his body feels too fragile, too ready to tip over into the deep end, and yet-

Yet something about the way Fabian is speaking lets him break in another way. ]


I'm sorry I called you, I'm sorry-- [ His voice croaks, the words slipping out from his mouth. He doesn't know how long he can control himself, how long he has. ] It wants me to rape you, [ he admits with a quieter voice. ] Please don't let me hurt you. Please. I can't stop it, it makes me mad.... I can't stop it....!

[ His eyes start closing together, not even intentionally, but from the rush of emotion now pushing up his throat with the tears, the sobs. He wants to keep telling him sorry, tries to, over the hiccups making his limbs all the more loose and hard to balance; as he fumbles with his hands on the flooring to keep steady above Fabian.

He could push away from Fabian, but he doesn't want to touch him. He wants Fabian to know to get away. It's okay, it's okay-- it's okay to run from him. ]
tinflower: (pic#17331294)

[personal profile] tinflower 2024-11-18 08:43 pm (UTC)(link)
[ When Fabian says he's leaving, Gorgug's reaction is quick, hurried nodding that refuses to let any other thought settle or find refuge in his brain. As if it's that simple, easy to avoid; but for this time that Gorgug has his wits about him, he wants to encourage Fabian. He wants to show that Fabian's choice is alright. ]

Go, [ he says, hushed words shared between them, and he's ready at any second to move or to be pushed away while he still has a say in how his own body reacts. Even as the idea of being left alone manages to slither its way into his mind, coiling over his willpower, squeezing.

He's going to leave you. Grab his arm. Ask him to stay, you're so alone.

There is a chaotic nature to Fabian Seacaster. Loud and opinionated, carrying his own insecurities, busy working to establish himself to show the world who he is (and to know who that is himself). Every one of the Bad Kids have this nature, that makes them unpredictable even to Gorgug after all these years with them, and it's one of those things about them he's come to accept. He admires it about them. Except, regularly, it often throws him off, or sends him into a frenzy that knocks him off the same rails as them.

Which is to say: the kiss, or encouragement, is that kind of chaotic choice that keeps Gorgug's mind from focusing straight. A kiss to attract him, and then a reminder that reaches out from inside Gorgug himself, and- Spring break. Spring break. They're a year younger and they're on their way to break Adaine and Aelwyn out from their prisons, bodies on fire, never feeling as connected to one another as they did then.

Gorgug doesn't reach for Fabian's arm. He doesn't turn his body over to follow Fabian's direction, to watch him go.

Instead, from behind Fabian (and even as he jumps), a rhythmless chant follows his exit. ]


Spring break! Spring break! Spring break, spring break!

[ Gorgug keeps a hold of the hope of friendship, like a flame passed on from Fabian that blazes different inside Gorgug than his own twisted rage, for as long as he's capable of doing. It dies down eventually, becomes smothered by the fear and grief that manages takes it place, but even so--

The ember persists somewhere inside him, that Fabian and Riz will do the right thing. They'll stop this. He knows they will.

Spring break. I believe in you. ]